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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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well, perhaps you can gather some friends and family members and perhaps you guys can contribute and help her change the carpet. I know financially it's very hard for all of us, however our elders need all the help we can give them at this stage in their lives. they've given us our lives.
MADscientist: I looked at your profile, but I didn't see what 'condition' your mother has that might be making matters worse. Is she elderly? Sickly? Unable to do for herself? Depressed? Alzheimer's ? I don't think the problem is ONLY about the dogs. I think one of your concerns is how she is (mis)handling her finances. This should be a primary concern for you if she has early dementia, or is unable to handle her finances anymore. Talk to her about her 'financial goals' and see if you can help her set some goals. If you cannot, and feel that she is unable to do what is best for herself, have a 'family meeting' and then talk to and elder lawyer about your options.
About the flooring: there are SO many 'holiday' special now, that alternate flooring should be considered for EASE of cleaning. There is vinyl that looks like wood floors, or tile that may be a good suggestion.
About the dogs: OMG please don't kill them! Solve the problem. I don't know how big or how old the dogs are, but it sure sounds like they need some help too. Get friends and family together, make a 'safe place' for the dog to go outside, and then set up a schedule for them to get there. A 'doggie' door can be an option, with a SAFE area for them to go out on their own and TRAINING will help too. A set feeding schedule and good clean water (at all times) will help too. Don't blame the dogs, HELP THEM! After all 'going to the bathroom' is a normal function and if they cannot get outside they WILL go inside. A POTTY STATION for the dogs if they are small will work. Look it up on GOOGLE (or BING) and see how to do this.
Give your mother something else to do beside sit in front of the TV. Help her, take her dogs for a walk, talk to her, stay involved in her life, show her you care!
My parents had two dogs with the same problem. They found a partial solution by putting out Wee Wee Pads. These are 4 foot square pads made out of diaper material. They are available at most Pet Stores. If you get the dogs to pee on it once and put the replacement in the same location each time the dogs will continue to go in the same location. The pads are treated to kill the smell and are biodegradable so they can go out in the trash. Not the best solution but it is sanitary and does control the smell.
OMG kill the dogs, I'm still laughing at that one.
So I see this thread and have to tell you a vey recent story.
About 1 month ago my nephew decided he wanted a pup. There are already 7 cats, and 1 dog at my moms house, (oh sister, brother-n-law, niece and nephew live in moms house). So on my regular scheduled day to care for mom I go over and here's this pup running around in the house. Since I spend my time in moms room, this dog was spending his time in there too, parked himself right up under my moms hospital bed. Mom is too weak to even see this dog. Certainly there is data that supports the joy that pets and animals bring to the elderly and sick but mom could never stand any animals in her house and made that perfectly clear......OK back to story......The pup is so little he doesn't pee much, but finally he does, twice. OK I spray the spots and clean. Is this really my job I'm saying to myself.
OK next day I go over moms house. I get there and there is a big pile of Dog Snitzzzzzzzz right by mom's bed. I call my sister to tell her and she says her husband will come clean it up because he is downstairs. OK I'm waiting, and nothing, next thing I see him taking off in the driveway. Well is this my job to clean dog poop too, I don't think so. I covered that poop and left it right there for when they came home.
Next time I go over as I walk in to "visit" mom, one caregiver is leaving and the other is coming. There are "TWO" (2) piles of dog poop in the Dining Room. One caregiver says to the other "you forgot to p/u the dog poop". The other says "I DON'T DO DOG POOP". Then they looked at me. I went and visited with mom and when I left I called my sister and I told her I wouldn't be back until that dog was OUTSIDE. It took over a week but I found out the other caretakers refused to go unless the same thing happened. The dog now lives in the back with the other dog and cats, although one of those cats stays downstairs.
Now this is just my story, and it happened in October this year. It disgust me to the fullest that the family would even bring in a dog in moms house but I don't live there, however had this not been resolved I knew exactly who to call. If I have to clean up my mom's poop, I'll not be cleaning someone else's dog poop, that's just it.
It all makes the house smell and really and truly you NEVER can get rid of the smell, I don't care what you use, or who cleans it. Wood flooring and tile are nice but it also brings about cold. Carpet always makes the house warmer and elderly people are always cold and the heats always on.
You'l figure out what to do and whatever it is just get it done NOW!! And I am glad you're only dealing with pee and not poop.
Well, she has possibly stopped really noticing the smell - especially if she is not leaving the house much. And the compulsive shopping - well if she is buying stuff she can use or that makes her happy, all may be well, but if she is buying duplicates of things she already has due to poor memory or anxiety, or otherwise starting to hoard/clutter, her cognitiion may be slipping and it is time to ask for more help in the least threatening way to her as possible. I'm a fan of Nature's Miracle for getting the smell gone. And pulling up the carpet and throwing it out, with a plan to redo the hardwood floor underneath if possible or to go to laminate or other flooring, would seem a little less drastic than putting down innocent, healthy animals and earning your Mom's probably permanent emnity for the grief it would likely cause. Can you just do this yourself, rather than wait for Mom to prioritize it? Can it be a group Christmas present if you have other family? Blaming the Health Dept - gosh, maybe a "notice" could be found on her door the next time you visit - is an intriguing idea too. (I'll save the ethical question about deception to preserve the peace and happiness of loved ones with mild cognitive impairment ro dementia for another post another day.)
I hope there is a good way to help, and that there is lots of independent or semi-independent home living left for your Mom and her pets...BLESS you, this is not easy. My story is a little different, but I've been there and often wish I had done more and found ways to get around's Mom's resistance to things that needed done....
You might have to give your mother a choice (make it a win win choice): To either replace the carpet with linoleum or a product she can afford or move to a nursing home & how will that affect her dogs? She's choosing to spend her money on the shopping channel, tell her the things she has purchased need to be sold to be able to make money to change the carpet! Linoleum is a nice product that can be maintained well! However if you don't replace the carpet with a product that can be washed new carpet will get the same way, unless she gets rid of the dogs! You might try a scare tactic, like if your area has a SPCA, give them a call because this is toxic to the dogs lungs as well as their paws & coat! It is extremely dangerous for your mother's lungs! I think I would also call elder care agency & report it, they will give her the option to have it cleaned up or move to nursing home & she will lose the dogs if that happens! I'm guessing she loves the dogs, but what is she doing with 4? If you take the dogs from her then she will only get pissed at you! If someone else takes them from her she doesn't have to know who called it in! M from Illinois
Try a product from Petco that removes urine and have the carpet cleaned. Replacing it will not help even if your mom would. My mother would just let her dogs go on the carpet - and then refuse to pay to have them cleaned. new carpet will be the same way .
Temporary solution would be to rent a rug shampooer use white vinegar & liquid tide, switching from one to the other, until you get it clean! I would also spray the walls with vinegar water, half & half with water, from urination levels down & wipe down with soapy water! This is a lot on you & you haven't asked for the dogs, but this is a cheap simple solution! It will get dirty again, unless something is done with the dogs!
My mom has 2 dogs and a shopping channel habit. I kidded my husband that when my son didn't come to cut the grass this summer (he had an internship and could not do it), and after her neighbors complained, that HSN was going to call me up and yell at me because she had to spend her shopping money on a gardner.
I don't know what you can do. My mom doesn't want to hear about it, so we just let it be. We insist that the doors be open if we are in her house. She puts up a fuss, but does it. Maybe the others are right: you will just have to clean it yourself.
A person's pets are frequently viewed as family members. I have dealt with the urine odor with my mother's pets, and there are several alternatives to euthanasia for a pet issue over urine odor. 1. Work with your parent to help the problem but do so without criticism. 2. Change the flooring to non-carpeting and help with the upkeep if needed. 3. Install a small fence if possible and a dog door. Most importantly, please respect the relationship your parent has with her pets. Since I am not aware of your mother's health, age , and housing situation, I may not be of any help, and I have certainly shared your situation so I know how frustrating it is to deal with it. Best Wishes!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
About the flooring: there are SO many 'holiday' special now, that alternate flooring should be considered for EASE of cleaning. There is vinyl that looks like wood floors, or tile that may be a good suggestion.
About the dogs: OMG please don't kill them! Solve the problem. I don't know how big or how old the dogs are, but it sure sounds like they need some help too. Get friends and family together, make a 'safe place' for the dog to go outside, and then set up a schedule for them to get there. A 'doggie' door can be an option, with a SAFE area for them to go out on their own and TRAINING will help too. A set feeding schedule and good clean water (at all times) will help too. Don't blame the dogs, HELP THEM! After all 'going to the bathroom' is a normal function and if they cannot get outside they WILL go inside. A POTTY STATION for the dogs if they are small will work. Look it up on GOOGLE (or BING) and see how to do this.
Give your mother something else to do beside sit in front of the TV. Help her, take her dogs for a walk, talk to her, stay involved in her life, show her you care!
So I see this thread and have to tell you a vey recent story.
About 1 month ago my nephew decided he wanted a pup. There are already 7 cats, and 1 dog at my moms house, (oh sister, brother-n-law, niece and nephew live in moms house). So on my regular scheduled day to care for mom I go over and here's this pup running around in the house. Since I spend my time in moms room, this dog was spending his time in there too, parked himself right up under my moms hospital bed. Mom is too weak to even see this dog. Certainly there is data that supports the joy that pets and animals bring to the elderly and sick but mom could never stand any animals in her house and made that perfectly clear......OK back to story......The pup is so little he doesn't pee much, but finally he does, twice. OK I spray the spots and clean. Is this really my job I'm saying to myself.
OK next day I go over moms house. I get there and there is a big pile of Dog Snitzzzzzzzz right by mom's bed. I call my sister to tell her and she says her husband will come clean it up because he is downstairs. OK I'm waiting, and nothing, next thing I see him taking off in the driveway. Well is this my job to clean dog poop too, I don't think so. I covered that poop and left it right there for when they came home.
Next time I go over as I walk in to "visit" mom, one caregiver is leaving and the other is coming. There are "TWO" (2) piles of dog poop in the Dining Room. One caregiver says to the other "you forgot to p/u the dog poop". The other says "I DON'T DO DOG POOP". Then they looked at me. I went and visited with mom and when I left I called my sister and I told her I wouldn't be back until that dog was OUTSIDE. It took over a week but I found out the other caretakers refused to go unless the same thing happened. The dog now lives in the back with the other dog and cats, although one of those cats stays downstairs.
Now this is just my story, and it happened in October this year. It disgust me to the fullest that the family would even bring in a dog in moms house but I don't live there, however had this not been resolved I knew exactly who to call. If I have to clean up my mom's poop, I'll not be cleaning someone else's dog poop, that's just it.
It all makes the house smell and really and truly you NEVER can get rid of the smell, I don't care what you use, or who cleans it. Wood flooring and tile are nice but it also brings about cold. Carpet always makes the house warmer and elderly people are always cold and the heats always on.
You'l figure out what to do and whatever it is just get it done NOW!! And I am glad you're only dealing with pee and not poop.
I hope there is a good way to help, and that there is lots of independent or semi-independent home living left for your Mom and her pets...BLESS you, this is not easy. My story is a little different, but I've been there and often wish I had done more and found ways to get around's Mom's resistance to things that needed done....
My mom has 2 dogs and a shopping channel habit. I kidded my husband that when my son didn't come to cut the grass this summer (he had an internship and could not do it), and after her neighbors complained, that HSN was going to call me up and yell at me because she had to spend her shopping money on a gardner.
I don't know what you can do. My mom doesn't want to hear about it, so we just let it be. We insist that the doors be open if we are in her house. She puts up a fuss, but does it. Maybe the others are right: you will just have to clean it yourself.
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