All,
I am not a caregiver, but I am worried about an elderly neighbor of mine.
Several times recently we have been woken up to our elderly neighbor trying to walk into our house. He doesn't know where he is and goes in a circle of the several houses close to his banging on the doors and trying to open them.
The first time this happened, our security door was unlocked and he kept swinging it open, it was 3AM, and we don't have a peep-hole or window overlooking our door and don't live in the best neighborhood so we ended up calling the cops thinking someone was trying to rob us, to later see the cops were escorting him home (also, it was about 30 degrees and he was in his underwear).
After we've known it was him, since then I've taken him back to his house and locked his door to keep him in.
His daughter is supposed to be his caregiver, but she lives separately to him. She has been informed of these incidents, but still lives separately. I don't know either of them well, before this I had probably had 3 conversations with the old guy when out walking my dogs.
Should I report this to Adult Protective Services, or something else? I believe he is a danger to himself if he continues to live without any supervision. He could die of exposure, get hit by a car, or walk into the wrong house and catch a bullet. But I also don't want him to be forced out of his house. Especially now...if I called something in and he was taken to an adult care facility that ended up having an outbreak of COVID-19, I don't know how I'd handle that.
So please, any advice?
This is a disaster in the making. He could easily be one of those people who wanders into a very dangerous situation. Even if he ended up in a facility and exposed to corona, it is far better than being lost, alone, and possibly an even worse end.
Call APS!
Swe if she can get someone to spend the nights there to keep the doors locked so he won't wonder the streets.
It certainly wouldn't be a good time for him to be sent to a home with this Virus Outbreak.
I detest these cold, indifferent children! Daughter is just after a paycheck. Report her and your name should be withheld.
It may be that the daughter has no idea what to do, and that she could use guidance as well.
I think I'd divide the issues this way:
1. Ease and ability to leave his house at any time, apparently w/o anyone knowing.
2. Confusion, loss of sense of direction and related issues once he's outside, including ability to return to his own home.
3. Safe return home once he is found.
Then I'd try to get together with the daughter and go over these issues. Give her the chance to do something, but do determine if she's overwhelmed and lacking coping skills, or if she's not able or interested in helping.
It wouldn't hurt for her to contact the police and ask for suggestions. There might be ankle bracelets like those for parolees, which the man could wear and which would monitor his wanderings. If connected to the daughter's Internet, or by some technical means (I'm not knowledgable on these issues), a monitoring system could provide an alert to a company, to the daughter, or PD.
An alert pendant might be able to provide the same early warning, although typically they're motion sensitive when someone leans over or falls. It's worth exploring by the daughter though.
When my father fell, his pendant monitoring service called me as soon as it detected a change in posture. If the man puts on shoes, such an alarm could notify the daughter, but not if he goes outside barefooted.
She could also explore alarm systems that alert her. I believe this is possible through Internet connected systems, but the house would probably have to be wired for Internet.
The issue then would be someone locating him and taking him back home, and this could be harder to resolve, finding someone to get up in the middle of the night to bring him home, if the daughter isn't available or willing.
One of the posters here is married to a policeman. I'm going to ask her if she has any suggestions for monitoring.
Call APS explaining the Police have taken him home and you have escorted him back. You really do not know the family well, just a hi in passing. You are worried about the man, could they please investigate the situation. You have done what you could. If APS falls down on the job, then call the police every time the man gets out. Eventually, the Police will do something. And all the neighbors should complain about him banging on their doors in the middle of the night.
Please, don't feel bad if placing him in LTC results in him passing. He is not safe where he is. You have no way of knowing what dangerous things he is doing behind closed doors. So its a catch 22 no matter how u look at it.
I fear the worse if he keeps knocking on doors.
The only way to get him the care he needs is to report him to APS and yes, i would alert the police when he is wandering the neighborhood.
Find out if you have a "community policing" number in your locale and call them to discuss this situation.