when I visited my mother in the nursing home where she is recovering from hip surgery after a fall at her assisted living facility, I found her sitting in her wheelchair fully dressed, and totally drenched in her urine. I grabbed a nurse for help and told her this was unacceptable. My mother has dementia from a brain aneurysm rupture 20 years ago. She tried to call for nurses several times, but nobody responded. I called for another nurse to show her my mom's predicament and it took 3 nurses 20 minutes to put my mom back in bed and change her clothes (and her wound dressing). I was shocked and saddened. How should I respond at a higher level with a complaint?
My mother often claims to have called me and, bluntly, is talking baloney. Sometimes she's missed the button on her trigger, more usually she's making excuses. Of course you know your own mother, but unless she's pretty reliable about when and how often exactly she has done things I wouldn't rely too heavily on her account.
How often are the staff at the NH supposed to check on your mother? It's perfectly reasonable to ask about that and to request that they give it special attention until everything is more under control.
Now if this becomes a habit, or if you start noticing quite a lot of patients looking uncomfortable as you pass their rooms, that's different. I hope it won't be the case, but if it is do you have alternative nursing homes available?
Most of the time she is not in her room. She sits in the dining room with a cup of coffee and a crossword puzzle book and perhaps another resident. Or she sits in a small area outside the nurses station, with a table over her wheelchair so she can read the paper or fold towels. Both of these places make it easy for the staff to keep an eye on her, and for her to tell someone when she needs to use the bathroom.
It sounds like the NH has not worked your mother's needs into their routine yet, and discovered the best ways to help her. I'll bet that will be a top priority now! How long has she been there? Does she wear incontinence briefs? Perhaps she should for the time being.
Is it normal to find a resident in this situation? It is not unheard of. But if it is "normal" at that facility I'd say you are facing a big problem.
Have you talked to the director of nursing about this incident? Ask how they will prevent this from happening again.