I have a grandmother who now has an expired licensed with no liability insurance who insists on driving in California. She can't see 1 ft in front of her nor read street signs and is a CHF heart patient at 95! She has memory troubles as well, gets disoriented. All her doctors have asked her not to drive, and she tells everyone including friends, a recent social worker, doctors, including a friendly priest who recently gave her (sacraments of the sick) that she's not driving or "she won't be driving anymore", but I know the truth! She insists on driving to her often Coumadin blood draw appointments, to the grocery store, occasional outings, and places she thinks she can get to since she knows her way around. She now has in-home "palliative care" services and an O2 machine onsite. I'm at my wit's end and don't know what to do, if anything. I've tried reasoning with her about driving and provided other options she can easily afford. I am not in a position to take keys away, disable vehicle, or reason with her. She could easily repair a vehicle. She's a stubborn, controlling, manipulative woman and gets her way by bullying and manipulation. No one else in the family seems to care or is engaged in her health care or seems concerned about the ramifications of her choices, potential liabilities. She lives two hours from me and I am her closest remaining relative and I know the truth about her, yet my hands seemed tied.
Anyone who truly cares about her has already tried talking to her, and many already drive her when needed.
Disabling the car won't work. She'll get it fixed. She has a couple of friends that enable her. These people are sycophants and not looking out for her best interests.
Can the police really do anything to help?
Her primary doctor has urged her not to drive.
Any suggestions?
So frustrated!
Oh, wait, that isn't fair to the baby in a stroller she might run into, or the other drivers on the road. I'm all in favor of allowing other people to decide their own risk tolerance for themselves ... but NOT for other people.
From a distance it would be hard for you to report her when she gets behind the wheel, but I agree with cwillie that that is appropriate.
Take the car keys away. It may not even occur to her to call a locksmith.
Report the issue to the local police department, although they are unlikely to be able to do anything unless they catch her. If they are a small dept or one that focuses on community, they may actually patrol a couple of times.
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