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I am a live in caregiver to a lady I’ve known for years. Before I moved in she had an alcoholic hoarder living in her home and it was trashed. Another friend that had helped her in the past was taking her meds for himself, now he’s on heroin. I ran these people off to keep her safe but now she is constantly acting like she’s unable to do anything including brushing her own teeth until her therapy nurses comes around then she can do everything with ease. I believe it’s Bc they can say she needs a nursing home. My bf and I haven’t even been able to have a date night since moving in Bc she calls me repeatedly until I come to her room even if she doesn’t need anything. I told her we wanted to go see a movie and she said just rent a movie and come home. I got a job that lasted a week before she wouldn’t let me sleep so I could work and I was fired for not showing up on time Bc I’d over sleep. She schedules appts 2 hours one way from home and these can be 2-4 times a week. I’ve suggested she change drs to make it easier on everyone she refuses coming up with some excuse. She wants me to be available 24/7 and expects me to be ok with it Bc I live here she said I didn’t have to pay rent which I shouldn’t Bc of everything I do here. Her son said she should pay me but she doesn’t. He’s thinking about a nursing home and I agree but I don’t want to seem pushy about it. She falls on purpose; I’ve watched her look behind her then plop on her butt. She fell twice in 1 day trying to get attention but hurt herself pretty bad. I don’t let her just sit around I try to make her get up and walk Bc she wants to lay in bed and be served. She told me today I was mean to her and she was afraid of me. I said why she said Bc you make me get up and do things like walk when I don’t want to. I said that’s not being mean that’s keeping your legs going. She’s called me her servant. I’m so burnt out on it it’s not funny. Any suggestions to get some respect?

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I'm not sure if you are a paid caregiver, tenant, friend or all three?

Certainly 'servant' is not a job title I have seen lately...

Sounds like some clarification over your role would help.
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Get a job and move out. You can't put your life on hold for an indeterminate amount of time like this, and you don't want a big gap on your employment history.
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If this is an arrangement where you move in as a "companion" in exchange for free rent it sounds like you have discovered there's no such thing as free. I don't think matters what this lady's problems are or whether you understand them unless you plan to continue a career in elder care, what you need to do is give notice and move out. Thankfully the son has a plan and it's his responsibility, not yours.
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Time to move out, get a job, and let her son move forward in placing her in the appropriate facility. Enough is enough. She is using and abusing you, and it's time to call her bluff. She is not your responsibility, so be grateful that you can walk away guilt free. It's now time for her son to step up and do what should have been done for his mom long ago.
Now get out and start enjoying your life! And go to that movie!
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