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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She can brush them herself. I have gotten children's toothpaste and brush with her, but she walks around with the brush and tries to get my attention off of it or tries to set it down somewhere. She sometimes gets angry and hands it back to me.
My mom is in a home. She won't brush her teeth either, so I am assuming they brush them for her. Once when I came to visit she had chicken all in her teeth, just horrible. I asked them to please brush my mothers teeth every morning. I will do it. when I visit. The problem is , I think, she doesn't remember
My mom won't brush her teeth on her own either. When she was in assisted living I knew she wasn't, and bathing was an issue too. So I moved her in with me. I take her to adult day care Mon - Fri. (a Godsend) Anyway, after breakfast each day I take her to the bathroom and we brush her teeth. If I don't do this It won't get done. Day care baths her 2X a week by the way. Sadly getting to point where I will have to put her in NH for her own safety.
I bought my mum an electric toothbrush which she had never used before. I put the toothpaste on it then get her to hold it and as she puts it to her mouth I quickly turn it on and she just moves it around her teeth. The movement encourages her and I'm sure does a way better job than if using a manual toothbrush. The brush makes a sound after 2 mins or so and she has miraculously learnt that it means she's finished. I definitely have to prompt her to brush and set it all up, but at least she ( or the toothbrush) is brushing her teeth and not me! I also take her to the dentist every 6 months where they will scrape her teeth for tarter although this is definitely becoming more difficult as the noise and scraping makes her tense up and shut her jaw!
We put toothbrush on sink w/just alittle baking soda toothpaste and remind her nightly and she is agreeable but if it wasn't out she would be hard pressed to do it. She is also agreeable only to a weekly shower and hair wash and we don't press her for anything more. We write it on a calendar when we want to remind her its time.
Scottdeny that was a pretty insensitive remark. you may have been able to becoem an excellent caregiver but everyone is different in what they can achieve. male Caregivers are a rare species and if you are able to continue to the end you are a very special and unique person. It is the responsible thing for any one who is not able to follow your example to pass on the very important care of their loved one to professionals. No shame or failure involved jsut plain common sense and concern for the loved one.
Scottdenny - your comment was very rude and uncalled for. None of us can judge another's ability to care for a loved one. Part of being a care giver is taking care of one's self. For a variety of reasons not all of us are able to care for a loved one without additional help. This is meant to be a forum for encouragement and support as we travel a very difficult road.
See if she will use a water pik/flosser, my husband has less problems using it than the toothbrush (I have to help with both). On low setting it works great to rinse out the excess food.
I work as a caregiver and specialize in people with Alzheimers and dementia. One trick I use to get a client to brush, rinse, and floss is by bringing my own toothbrush and mouthwash and floss and we do it together, I am demonstrating how as well as encouraging and explaing and helping as needed. I can take a few tries to figure out the leval of assistance needed but usually they can cooperate and this helps increase as much independence as possible. When the leval changes then I just assist more but they are used to the routine and its usually easy to do for both of you.
Scottdeny - I echo the response of Veronical91 and others. This is a forum to help and encourage people. When people are asking for help, they are not asking for you to step in and insult them. I have asked AgingCare to review your post to determine if it steps outside their terms and policies and to consider pulling it (and you) from our forum.
We both use electric toothbrushes. I get it out and put paste on it. We brush together. Sometimes my husband forgets he has brushed and brushes again. That's o.k.
Try using a wash cloth as that used to be a method folks used when they could not afford toothpaste and toothbrushes (The Great Depression). Try a little mouth rinse like ACT to rinse out any food particles, but if she really doesn't want to brush her teeth, then do not argue or make her. Just one more thing you can check off your list of things to do...
Scottdenny, I don't get it. What is your advice? If you've learned little tricks, why aren't you posting them to help the person who is asking a question? That's pretty much the point in being here.
Kittysharone, I don't have this trouble with my mother partly because she has no teeth although she will be getting a full set of dentures soon and I'm assuming she may need help from me in cleaning them. Is it possible to just help your mother brush her teeth? Some adults would like that kind of help and some wouldn't. I suppose you could try it or try some of the other's suggestions.
I bought my husband an electric toothbrush with a spiderman pattern on it and placed toothpaste on it and a glass of water for rinsing next to it. It worked while he was still fascinated with it. Then we were back to the "I already brushed them" or an outright refusal. Not even the threat that I won't read him a bedtime story would do it. However, I found out that by getting him ready for bed about an hour earlier makes him more amenable, because he is not so tired. The most embarrassing part is that after eating he often sticks his fingers in his mouth trying to remove particles. Especially in a restaurant and with company. I cannot dissuade him because he will stubbornly continue. If I give him a toothpick he will use it in front of everyone, too. So I am giving him lots of fluid during the meal to help prevent this. At home I cut up and can grind up the meat for him, but in a restaurant that's not possible and he loves meat dishes.
This can also be a problem once in a while for my 87 year-old mother with dementia who lives with us. Personally, I have found that trying to have her brush her teeth after bathing and dressing does not work as she is already tired out from those activities and therefore refuses to brush her teeth. Therefore, it seems to work out much better when I ask her if she wants to brush her teeth before bedtime. We have actually turned this into somewhat of a bedtime routine now along with washing her face. She also has an electric toothbrush and I usually have to give her verbal cueing on how to turn it on and off. Sometimes I'll just go ahead and do it for her as well as applying the toothpaste, although at times she is able to do it herself. I usually stand right by her or nearby just to make sure she is doing okay as her balance and motor planning/sequencing is not good. Anyway, I also agree that using a toothpaste she likes rather than the children's toothpaste is a better idea, or using the baking soda instead. Best of luck to you!
We are all trying to cope with the same difficult task's. My Mom has Alzheimer's since 2013, prior to this She was the cleanest most spotless Person I had ever known. Now My Mom refuses to wash Her teeth, or take a shower. I try to encourage Her, but Mom insists, saying NO. I cannot boss My Mother about, but It worries Me because I feel if Mom had regular showers, it might eliminate the dreaded UTI s, or at least minimise them.
Ferris1 - Stop telling people that one thing or another "doesn't matter" because their loved one has a "terminal illness!!!" I am so tired of reading that comment from you. Everything that concerns a caregiver enough to ask about here, matters. People can live upwards of 20 years with Alzheimer's. Neglecting someone's dental health causes terrible pain and other health issues, which in turn compound the dementia. And even if it didn't, these people are human, remember? A short time ago they were just like you and me. If I were in that position, I certainly wouldn't want my caregiver to let my teeth just rot. That's insane. Anyone who feels such indifference is not cut out to be a caregiver...or maybe they just don't care.
My husband is more cooperative when he knows he is going to visit someone who he doesn't ordinarily see - like for an older cousin's 90th birthday party. He will extend himself and allow a sponge bath, especially if I have given him an anti-anxiety medication 1/2 hour before (like Xanax or Calm Forte). I don't want to overdo the Xanax - was told to only use it 1-2x a week.
And to the OP, I have the same issue with my mother, and it's heart-wrenching. As far as getting her to brush her teeth, it's been hit or miss. I find that if I've been with her for several hours, and she's in a good mood, she'll be more apt to brush or allow me to clean her partial denture. Another thing you can try is getting her doctor or dentist to prescribe Peridex. It's an anti-microbial mouth rinse, usually used to prevent infection in people who have had an extraction or other mouth surgery. It will stain her teeth slightly, and I don't know about long-term use, but if her mouth is in really bad shape, for now, it's a lifeline. Good luck!
A little delayed response, but I here's what I do, since my mother can still actually brush her teeth--her problem is forgetting to do it. I just get her electric toothbrush, place a little paste on it, set it near the sink, and then I say, "Oh, I see you put toothpaste on your brush, were you going to brush or just leave it sitting there?" I say this in a nice tone of course. To which she will say, "Oh, yes, I knew I was forgetting something." She then thinks SHE is the one who put the paste on and just forgot to brush. Works better for me making her think I am not the one who is reminding her. Sometimes the lack of short term memory helps out a bit. :)
I remind Mom, but don't push her or stand over her if possible. Sometimes it takes putting the toothpaste on the brush for her; sometimes we brush our teeth together; and because Mom has upper dentures, I kid her about how cool it must be to take hers out to brush them and she teases me back by showing me how she pushes them out....then we are half way home. Best in your journey.
I remind Mom, but don't push her or stand over her if possible. Sometimes it takes putting the toothpaste on the brush for her; sometimes we brush our teeth together; and because Mom has upper dentures, I kid her about how cool it must be to take hers out to brush them and she teases me back by showing me how she pushes them out....then we are half way home. Best in your journey.
Drinking water helps when all else fails. Better to get your teeth flushed with water than a sugary drink, etc. I know of one kids song and I am sure there are more about brushing teeth that makes it kind of fun...I think the song is by Raffi, who is enjoyable for both adults and children to listen to. see: metrolyricsbrush-your-teeth-lyrics-raffi.html other fun songs to listen to or caregiver can sing are: littlesmileslv/blog/tooth-themed-songs-to-get-kids-to-brush-with-lyrics/ The auditory nerve goes to so many parts of the brain so rhythmic music is very good for all of us. If your mom has some favorite music maybe you can pick out a two minute version to listen to while brushing teeth. There are probably lots more. I believe in making things fun for all. The vibrating toothbrush is a great idea. Many people love this sensory input. Many kids I worked with (before my diagnosis of FTD) found teeth brushing to be aversive. By playful attitudes and slowly increasing the amount of time one is asked to brush along with vibrating toothbrushes, modeling, and music, many children came to enjoy it. Best of luck! Rosie (former pediatric occupational therapist)
Discussed the lack of oral hygiene with my spouse's doctor. Doc doesn't feel it's a 'big deal.' It seems the lack of tooth brushing and bathing go hand-in-hand. Husband hides tooth brushes, but then he was never much on tooth and gum maintenance. He only has 5 teeth left. Most have decayed and needed pulling. Gum disease is apparent. When I manage to get a toothbrush in his mouth, his gums flow with blood. It's awful. His regular dentist told him not to come back since husband has a negative and surly attitude towards the hygienist. Have taken him to several dentists. The most they do is look in his mouth, pick around at the few teeth remaining, tell him to rinse out with a mouthwash and his check-up is done. Bought electric toothbrushes, pics, floss, every flavor of toothpaste, but nothing changes his poor hygiene. Scotty, I found your comment interesting. Walk in my shoes because no one else would dare and then tell me all about my husband's mother 'being there for her son' because she was not. My husband married me to take the place of his mother and after 49 years of babysitting, if he refuses to 'brush' and fights with every warm body that tries to help him, so be it. If it wasn't for me, my spouse would be dead! And to be frank, his teeth is one of my least concerns!
Hi all Caregivers. May I ask a different question concerning another problem. Im the full time Carer to My Who's 86 years and had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's two years ago. Mum is not active anymore, as due to a long active and hard Life, She's worn out. Mother is finding it very difficult to sleep at night, as since She spends so much time in bed during the day, Her sleep is all used up. Mother had been taking sleeping tablets, on prescription to aid sleeping, but has had awful dreams, and hallucinations, so the sleeping tablets are NO MORE, NEVER..can You suggest any other safer method of aid sleeping at night for My Mum, please.? Thank You from John Joe, in County Cork, Ireland.
The reason I began getting children's toothpaste, is because the adult toothpaste burned her mouth. I put the paste on for her and I brush at the same time, but she still tries to get out of doing it. These are the tricks I have tried. I appreciate the comments to use alternate tools.
Unfortunately dementia patients don't even remember what a toothbrush is. My mother LOVED makeup and fixing up. When this first started she would brush every other day. She's in a facility now and they are lucky if they can get her to brush once a week. They are VERY good and I have seen it first hand what they have to deal with. Sometimes she just isn't going to do it. Sad after what she was so proud of but it is what it is. Might be cruel to say but dementia is cruel. You can only do your best. If it's only once a week, then that's what it is. God Bless
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
So I moved her in with me. I take her to adult day care Mon - Fri. (a Godsend)
Anyway, after breakfast each day I take her to the bathroom and we brush her teeth.
If I don't do this It won't get done. Day care baths her 2X a week by the way.
Sadly getting to point where I will have to put her in NH for her own safety.
I put the toothpaste on it then get her to hold it and as she puts it to her mouth I quickly turn it on and she just moves it around her teeth. The movement encourages her and I'm sure does a way better job than if using a manual toothbrush.
The brush makes a sound after 2 mins or so and she has miraculously learnt that it means she's finished.
I definitely have to prompt her to brush and set it all up, but at least she ( or the toothbrush) is brushing her teeth and not me!
I also take her to the dentist every 6 months where they will scrape her teeth for tarter although this is definitely becoming more difficult as the noise and scraping makes her tense up and shut her jaw!
Kittysharone, I don't have this trouble with my mother partly because she has no teeth although she will be getting a full set of dentures soon and I'm assuming she may need help from me in cleaning them. Is it possible to just help your mother brush her teeth? Some adults would like that kind of help and some wouldn't. I suppose you could try it or try some of the other's suggestions.
see:
metrolyricsbrush-your-teeth-lyrics-raffi.html
other fun songs to listen to or caregiver can sing are:
littlesmileslv/blog/tooth-themed-songs-to-get-kids-to-brush-with-lyrics/
The auditory nerve goes to so many parts of the brain so rhythmic music is very good for all of us. If your mom has some favorite music maybe you can pick out a two minute version to listen to while brushing teeth.
There are probably lots more. I believe in making things fun for all. The vibrating toothbrush is a great idea. Many people love this sensory input. Many kids I worked with (before my diagnosis of FTD) found teeth brushing to be aversive. By playful attitudes and slowly increasing the amount of time one is asked to brush along with vibrating toothbrushes, modeling, and music, many children came to enjoy it. Best of luck! Rosie (former pediatric occupational therapist)
Mum, please.? Thank You from John Joe, in County Cork, Ireland.