Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I don't know much about your MIL, but since she is living in your home, you are able to insist she get treatment for her depression. I would have her get a physical exam and then an evaluation with a geriatric psychiatrist for her depression, if possible. Her primary doctor may be able to prescribe her something.
There are medications that can really lift the mood and give the patient more energy about life. Perhaps, if she was feeling better, she might have renewed interests in old friends, hobbies and activities aside from your family. You could search for them and provide her the options. Ensure she has transportation to attend these activities.
I would be very sensitive to not make her feel excluded. You might encourage activities at a senior senior, the Y or a church event, but I would try to avoid telling her outright that you want time without her. Depending on her age and mental decline, if any, she may not be able to comprehend that she's not welcome at all times. If you have to say anything, I would explain that SHE needs independent time away from you and not the other way around. Make it seem that you concerned with her privacy and wish to preserve her independence.
If this is new, it could come from brain changes and I would have her evaluated by a geriatric specialist ASAP. This is a common dementia behavior. It's called Shadowing.
I say a geriatrician specifically because most family docs/GPs are not trained in this specialty area no more than they are pediatrics or cardiology. They will miss signal behaviors and not address the real problem. Some will even blow it off and say it's just "normal old age", when it is not.
I would take this quite seriously until an aging specialist can rule out cognitive decline and a root cause.
I should say that Shadowing is different than boredom, depression, & loneliness.
Shadowing is following you around in your personal bubble very persistently, and getting very upset if left alone.
If MIL is just unhappy she can't do everything & go everywhere, pitches snit fits, and is passive aggressive about it, that is not Shadowing.
My mom did this for the few weeks she lived with us. She would throw big tantrums for not being invited to go out on date night with me & my husband. If I ran an errand without her, there was trouble.
Due to a lot of other complexity, she had to go into care, but I no longer had to be the center of her universe as the only one who could provide entertainment and happiness. They had activities, movies, musicians, outings, you name it. If you were bored & unhappy there, it was your own doing.
Does your MIL live with you? The only suggestion I have is to decided, as a family, how you want to use your time; when MIL will be included, and then stick to that. Unfortunately, you cannot be your MIL's life. She won't like your setting boundaries so be prepared.
My MIL does live with us and I do believe we need to get her a mental evaluation. Its more than just her wanting to spend time with us, its an obsession. I had told her awhile ago back that I wanted the weekends with just my husband and kids and she seemed to understand but never made plans to do anything for herself on those days. I try to be sensitive but being straight forward. I am not trying to hurt her feelings but I do feel like she totally gets what I want but just doesn't care. It is very fustrating.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There are medications that can really lift the mood and give the patient more energy about life. Perhaps, if she was feeling better, she might have renewed interests in old friends, hobbies and activities aside from your family. You could search for them and provide her the options. Ensure she has transportation to attend these activities.
I would be very sensitive to not make her feel excluded. You might encourage activities at a senior senior, the Y or a church event, but I would try to avoid telling her outright that you want time without her. Depending on her age and mental decline, if any, she may not be able to comprehend that she's not welcome at all times. If you have to say anything, I would explain that SHE needs independent time away from you and not the other way around. Make it seem that you concerned with her privacy and wish to preserve her independence.
If this is new, it could come from brain changes and I would have her evaluated by a geriatric specialist ASAP. This is a common dementia behavior. It's called Shadowing.
I say a geriatrician specifically because most family docs/GPs are not trained in this specialty area no more than they are pediatrics or cardiology. They will miss signal behaviors and not address the real problem. Some will even blow it off and say it's just "normal old age", when it is not.
I would take this quite seriously until an aging specialist can rule out cognitive decline and a root cause.
Shadowing is following you around in your personal bubble very persistently, and getting very upset if left alone.
If MIL is just unhappy she can't do everything & go everywhere, pitches snit fits, and is passive aggressive about it, that is not Shadowing.
My mom did this for the few weeks she lived with us. She would throw big tantrums for not being invited to go out on date night with me & my husband. If I ran an errand without her, there was trouble.
Due to a lot of other complexity, she had to go into care, but I no longer had to be the center of her universe as the only one who could provide entertainment and happiness. They had activities, movies, musicians, outings, you name it. If you were bored & unhappy there, it was your own doing.
weekends with just my husband and kids
and she seemed to understand but never
made plans to do anything for herself on
those days. I try to be sensitive but being straight forward. I am not trying to hurt her feelings but I do feel like she totally gets what I want but just doesn't care. It
is very fustrating.