Let me first start by saying that my mother is definitely at the end of life because she is no longer eating and just taking small amounts of water. Last Tuesday when I visited she was agitated, shouting, sleeping excessively and calling out people's names (some that I have never heard of). She wasn't on any medication.
When I visited today she was completely lucid, although barely able to talk. She knew who I was and called me frequently to give her water. I went out and got crushed ice for her and she liked it. She kept saying she would feel better if she just got up out of the bed (the nurses said this wasn't an option) and at one point she said "I just want to die". She wasn't nearly as agitated. When I first saw her I asked her if she was in any pain and she said no. She said she was comfortable. By the end of my visit she said her knee hurt and she was very uncomfortable. The nurse administered Morphine. She told me she just wanted to take a nap and I left after she went to sleep.
She has been in hospice for over a year and on oxygen but was able to sit in her recliner chair and drink Ensure but almost 2 weeks ago when I visited she said she had been up all night throwing up. Prior to that she was just sleeping excessively. I guess her body was beginning the slow process of shutting down.
My father died very suddenly so this is all so new to me. I supposed you would call today's experience a "rally" but it is so confusing. I never know what she will be like when I visit. I know we never know how long the process will take but it is just heartbreaking to see.
As others have mentioned, the spirit may be ready to go but the body goes when it is ready.
If there's anything you want to tell her, do it now while she's till lucid.
Be easy on yourself. Let us know how things go at your next visit.
My mother habitually twirled her hair, and the last day she was alive she was still twirling it even though she wasn't even conscious. As I sat by her side, she slowly raised her hand toward her forehead as usual, but it just stopped about halfway up, so I gently put it back down and twirled her hair for her. She was gone the next morning.