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Hi Smithy1968, You sound as if you are concerned that someone you love will feel pain upon death. Generally, the organs shut down gradually since death under the circumstance I assume you are watching is gradual.
Both of my parents were on hospice care for months and were kept comfortable during that time. When they died, they died peacefully. No pain.
I was holding my dad when he died and I felt the release of what I would term his spirit, but no struggle or pain.
Mom's heart took a long time to stop even though her limbs were mottling and she was showing signs of other organs shutting down. When her heart stopped it was simply one more peaceful step.
I don't think you'll have to worry about the heart attack pain. This is different.
My mom was on hospice and I can honestly say her death was so peaceful and calm, no struggling, moaning , wincing, just took her last breath and it was over.
Many old people die in their sleep, unwitnessed. Many have their family or professional caregivers with them, as they 'breathe their last'. I've never heard that death is necessarily painful. A heart attack is certainly uncomfortable/causes pain, because the circulation is cut off to part of the heart muscle and that's where the pain originates. But when the heart is slowing down over time and the rest of the body is slowing down, including breathing and circulation, is doesn't seem like it would be painful. Losing consciousness can occur from the breathing slowing down, which seems like a 'natural' remedy for whatever pain there might be. However, even if there is pain, it's not going to last, if death is the ultimate result. Try to make peace with that thought.
My grandfather on the other hand, was hanging some clothes on the line. felt funny. took down a rug and laid on it and never got up. that was always peaceful to me.
my father was in hospice. i laid with him for hours. i dont think he even knew what was going on. i talked to him and he would moan, so maybe he did..
Dad had a death rattle. We suspected the end was near so we were taking turns sitting with him. It was my turn and I was just talking to him and playing hymns softly on the CD player. He sighed a little louder than previously. After a minute of not hearing any other breathing, I called the nurse (he was in a nursing home and they had moved him to a private room) and she verified death. They took care of everything else while I called the relatives. It was in the wee hours of the morning and I was glad to have the nurses and aides nearby, but not hovering. It wasn't scary at all, and Dad didn't seem to be in any pain.
Death should only be painful if there's a medical reason for there to be pain. My mom basically just went to sleep and never woke up. My father in law was in the hospital for over a week and slowly just faded out over that time. We were with him and didn't realize that he'd passed for a few minutes.
Many times I've seen people pass peacefully, it's like they close their eyes and sleep forever. If you are concerned about the dying process contact your local Hospice, they have excellent brochures and staff that can explain this process. My grandma was very ill at the end an in the hospital, I told her she had a long, good life and I know she was tired, she can close her eyes and let go-it was ok. She died peacefully; her heart and breathing stopped. It didn't appear she felt any pain or discomfort at the time of her death. Death can be scary for some people, but it's the progression of life. Speaking with someone who is knowledgeable till help.
My son was with his mother at the end. He was trying to give her a little sense of Christmas so was putting up a tree in the corner when he heard her take a breath and sigh. No different than so many others. When he realized that he wasn't hearing any more breathing he went to check and found that she was gone. No cries of pain, no moans, no thrashing. Just there one moment and gone the next.
My mother was in hospice and I watched her take her last breath and she was peacefully gone. They should not be in any pain, they can be made comfortable with medication.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You sound as if you are concerned that someone you love will feel pain upon death. Generally, the organs shut down gradually since death under the circumstance I assume you are watching is gradual.
Both of my parents were on hospice care for months and were kept comfortable during that time. When they died, they died peacefully. No pain.
I was holding my dad when he died and I felt the release of what I would term his spirit, but no struggle or pain.
Mom's heart took a long time to stop even though her limbs were mottling and she was showing signs of other organs shutting down. When her heart stopped it was simply one more peaceful step.
I don't think you'll have to worry about the heart attack pain. This is different.
Take care,
Carol
I've never heard that death is necessarily painful. A heart attack is certainly uncomfortable/causes pain, because the circulation is cut off to part of the heart muscle and that's where the pain originates. But when the heart is slowing down over time and the rest of the body is slowing down, including breathing and circulation, is doesn't seem like it would be painful. Losing consciousness can occur from the breathing slowing down, which seems like a 'natural' remedy for whatever pain there might be. However, even if there is pain, it's not going to last, if death is the ultimate result. Try to make peace with that thought.
my father was in hospice. i laid with him for hours. i dont think he even knew what was going on. i talked to him and he would moan, so maybe he did..
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