I care for my aunt and have been for 2 years now. I moved in with her and her husband cause none of her kids wanted to care for her. I promised my mom that I would before she passed. She is a fall risk and has had few strokes and many many TIAs. She has gotten so mean and she still in her right mind but the other day she busted in my room and had a hugh knife and tried to stab me. And she has told ppl I have been elderly abusing her. And has called adult protective services and the law. She is trying to have me evicted. Just evil. She even told me that she would kill me in my sleep that I better not go to sleep. I haven't come out of my room in 4 days cause when I do she's all in my face trying g to start something. She drinks alot and everyday. What do I do.
Alot has happened since writing this post. I will be homeless but I'm leaving and so excited cause I won't be here anymore. On weds she called animal control on me and a dog she said she wanted and said I was abusing animals and long story short I ended up having to give the dog over to them. In that process due to the tension they went ahead and call and have the police to come out. We'll they came out and took report of her pulling knife on me and then she goes tells them she's scared for her life and then they think it's a joke. When my boyfriend pulls up they arrest him cause she said that he stole from her and she had went and got a warrant. I was all freaking out. Well I get him out and she was yelling and saying she's ready to break and no telling what she's going to do and she wants us out. So after the day I had I was scared cause no telling what she will do at this point she was drunk and her new medication has made her start hearing and seeing stuff that's not there. So I call 988 boy that was a big mistake, I mean big mistake cause they did nothing but laugh at me. Cause they call and wanted to have back up cause there was guns in the house and her husband that has dementia sleeps with his 2 hand guns no telling what will happen cause he gets mad and goes shoots off the porch in the air. The cops ask to speak to me and I have never been treated so mean and talked down to as if my safety meant nothing to them. They laughed at me cause they said how can you be scared of a old woman that barley walk down the steps. And I showed a video of her throwing things at me and for him to yell at me and say if I even think about going and pressing a fake charge on her I will purposely charge you with it. And said I have nothing else to say and left. I understand why ppl are not asking for help and getting killed cause our call for help sources don't help. I will die before ever calling for help again. It has made me feel different about law enforcement and will never trust they have our best interests at hand. But I have a tent and I'm gone from here and never looking back. God will take care of me.
You have definitely made the very best decision to leave this toxic environment.
Wishing you all the best. Take care.
"I like helping people and enjoy cleaning and making things easy for them".
OK. But is this a PAID job? Or do you work elsewhere? Did you need accomodation? Why not help but live elsewhere?
Is this a Care for House arrangement? ie Be the Caregiver now on a promise of 'get-the-house' in the will? Or, even worse, just on expectation?
Start packing now so you can walk out of the house with everything you own. If you can't, do not return to that house without a police escort. I really hope they Baker act your Aunt. This means a 72 hr evaluation in a Psychiatric facility. You can now see why her own children refused to care for her. For no reason would I take this on again. Both can become Wards of the State and your caregiving will be over. Good time to get ur life back.
Move out. This person needs to be in an asylum.
I have read the unanimous answers to your question. I had advised you to give 2 week notice and leave. Others are, however, correct, and I was wrong. You should leave at once.
I hope that you will reassure us that you have done so, as many here will worry for you until you are safely away.
you said you don't depend on her for anything. you would rather burn in hell than ask for a glass of water from her.
is it possible you do depend on her, for example it's her home - i don't think you're paying her rent while you live there? for example, for sure you use the water from the shower, for sure you don't pay for water, electricity...are you paying the water bill? i don't think so.
for sure, you weren't able to have a job AND help her? there's usually no time for both, if she needs a lot of help. so you haven't been earning money for a while.
no one can live on saved money forever.
maybe you're financially dependent in some ways, without realizing it?
Look for a job so you can become independent and regain your life.
You are not obligated to care for these two, let the chips fall where they may.
It's great to want to help family but when they are this abusive and you continue to stay then you have to look at yourself and evaluate why you think it's OK to be treated this way and not take steps to leave.
Please keep us updated. You've read the unanimous advice here - GET OUT.
What are you going to do?
Then get your stuff out (when safe to so so) to leave permanently.
"She is trying to have me evicted".
Did your Aunt or Uncle ASK you to move in? (I missed that if you said so).
i'm sure you're aware, you need to protect your safety...find a way to be financially independent...leave.
LEAVE!!!
If you are staying because you made a promise, recognize that the situation has changed and you never promised to look after someone who is violent, destroying your mental health and could injure or even kill you.
You don't need to help in any way, find other support for her or help her financially, you need to just walk away and start living your life.
I don't think the promise you made to your mother covers staying with a psychotic aunt who may indeed kill you.
She is not in her right mind. She appears to be homicidal and has threatened you.
Get out. Now. And if she ever threatens you again in any way, lock yourself in your room and call the police. File a report.
I really am amazed how many family members don’t recognize such incidents as mental health issues. Or if they do, how many continue to subject themselves to such scary situations.
Slunsford, what is happening to her isn’t your fault. Please take care of yourself.
Your aunt obviously is showing signs of dementia and not surprising after all those strokes and TIA's. She now needs more help than you can provide and for your own safety's sake you must leave her home, and let her children/husband worry about her care.
Surely you don't want to continue living there right?
Sorry for being facetious but, running away from your demented aunt would be all I could even think of.
Knife? Threats? Okay, it’s time to get the hell out of there! At this point, it’s called survival and she can fend for herself.
DO NOT stay there any longer. You can email/notify her kids that you are no longer there. Best of luck to you.
My question to you is: what is your definition of "right mind"?
People in their Right Minds don't threaten others with huge knives or to kill loved ones while they sleep.
Add lots of booze into the Loss of Right Mind scenario and, there you have it. Chaos and bedlam with a bit of insanity thrown in. Or dementia, or the aftermath of strokes and lots and lots of TIAs.
But you already know that, you'd have to.
Good luck to you.
As to promises made to mom, I doubt she would expect you to stay to be slain in your sleep, do you?
Give your Aunt a two week notice that you are leaving and then do so before you are evicted.
Being threatened with a knife would speed up my decision to get a move on!
I have had a gun pointed to my heart and I have never forgotten the feeling. It’s terrifying to be threatened.