My mom is in a nursing home and she needs that level of support. My brother is moving forward with sending her home, but in all the wrong ways. He has not coordinated anything with her doctors or the nursing home. He has however had her sign up for a Medicaid managed long term care plan as of June 1, which is the date he tells her she is going home. He has also funded a pooled trust for June. However, the nursing home had no idea of his plans and does not have a discharge plan in place and told me they will be unable to get one in place by June 1, so I shouldn't worry. However, my brother has her financially signed up for all of these things and when the MLTC plan called and asked if she was in a nursing home, she got angry and told them she was going home June 1. My mom also asked my cousin if she could give her a ride home that day. It is clear to me that my brother thinks he can just send my mom back to her empty apartment with no way to get food, medication, to doctor's appointments, etc. The nursing home says they won't discharge her, but I am afraid he will just take her out and not return her. Do I call APS? Did that work out for anyone?
The social worker also spoke to the Medicaid consulting firm that has been "guiding" my brother through the process. I blasted the consulting firm because it was clear they were not explaining the process and that he cannot just send her home in a cab. They sent this email yesterday. Hopefully, this opens his eyes and he stops with the BS.
Subject: discharge
To: George
Hi George. I just left you a voicemail. I spoke with Amanda, the social worker at your mom's nursing home. She stated that she explained to you that you have to sign mom out on the day of discharge. We also want to make you aware that since your sister does NOT want involvement, you MUST SIGN, all paperwork and be responsible not only with the nursing home, but with Integra and also the home care agency that the aide will come from will also request that you sign. If the aide does not show up, gets stuck in traffic, etc, someone has to be there to care for mom.
This is a serious issue and you must understand what you are doing. If you cannot agree to the above, the nursing home cannot safely sign her discharge plan and mom will not be discharged.
Please call Amanda to discuss the discharge plan before Tuesday
Sincerely,
Michele, CMP
I am so glad that you have found out exactly what's happening. The social worker will make sure that HE signs for responsibility and that HE will be there.
YOU will not take responsibility. STAY STRONG! We are all rooting for you!
My mom was in rehab then moved to long term while applying for Medicaid. Once they did the assessment, they MLTC will only give her 26 hours of home care... which isn't enough. I told them I was out of it and would not support her going home. My brother is pressing on.
Secondly, call or meet with NH social worker vs APS and tell them your concerns as well that mom will have no family, friend, or neighbor support and only brother is available and advise that they meet with brother with their discharge plan so that he understands responsibilities.
That's all you can do. As much as it kills you, don't prop mom up or help. If mom calls or others call u about mom, give them brothers phone number and tell them to call him or 911.
I don't understand how brother is getting long term care if mom is in NH unless it was just rehab.
My brother was in denial about my moms condition - especially the dementia, for quite a while. Finally, he said to me "I'll believe it when I see it in writing". - So I got him a copy of the report made by the geriatric psychiatrist- and that was the end of him fighting me and giving me grief for the tough decisions that had to be made.