He has been recently diagnosed. He is getting very forgetful now. Has just been upped the dose of Aericept from 5 to 10 g. How do you explain what is happening to him with out making him just wanting to end it all. I did tell him he was going to have to rely more on me to tell him the truth about things such as dates, attps., etc and he said how will I know you are right about things. What do I say. Legitimate question I guess. How do I tell him he has Dementia ?
I am soo sorry. God bless.
There was no question for me about whether my husband would want to know. Engineers are huge on cause-and-effect and precise measurements and finding out how things tick. He knew something was wrong and vague assurances weren't gonna cut it.
It was the doctor who told him that he had Lewy Body Dementia and gave him some reading material about it. And I'd suggest that if you decide your husband should know that you arrange for the doctor to tell him and explain it at your next appointment.
I'm not saying that my husband took it easily, especially at first, or that he always trusted my judgment. But he got used to the idea and got comfortable with my "interfering" in his life. When we went to a new appointment he'd say, "My wife comes in with me. She's my memory."
I could say things to him like, "I know you can carry your own tray. I've seen you do it for decades! But now I'm worried that ol' Lewy will play tricks on you while you carry it, so why don't you carry the silverware and I'll bring the rest of the tray?" We could moan together about how nasty this terrible disease was. I could assure him I'd be there for him.
It was really best for both of us that my husband knew his diagnosis.(But it wouldn't be for everyone.)
" he said how will I know you are right about things?" "Sweetie, I won't always be right. I'm still the imperfect woman you married. But I'll always honestly try to do what is best for you. With the doctors' help I'll do my best to help you remember things and to make good decisions when you can't. I know I'm not always right, but you can trust me to do my best."
At this point, less than a year later, she has no idea that she has dementia. She thinks she lives and works at the Memory Care facility.
I recall seeing Glen Campbell on tv showing his journey. He had known that he had Alzheimers for a good while, but when the interviewer asked him about it, he looked at his wife and said, "I have Alzheimers? That's news to me." So, eventually, they will not now they have dementia. Whatever gets you through from day to day is the right way to go, IMO.