My mother in law is incontinent and CHF. As she is on diuretics we try to keep her on a two hour bladder schedule to prevent leakage. She wears depends. Every time I try to remind her it has been two hours, she insists that she doesn't have to go! It is very frustrating as she does not argue with her health aid or anyone else, just me. I am her caretaker. Is this a control thing?
The health aid is there to do these kinds of things. She is an authority figure of sorts. MIL accepts this is the nature of things. Friends and daughter-in-laws, however, are not usually involved in our toileting. It seems unnatural and she objects. Perhaps you can defer to the authority of the aid. "It is time to check off a bathroom visit on AmyAid's schedule." You are just the innocent messenger carrying out the aid's orders.
Where she spend most of the day in Living Room or her Bedroom? Set up commode chair near by her, if she has a mobility issues she may not go toilet often ether...I don't know what to tell you about you and health aid... could be "Showtime"! My client 91 is opp-set, she like to go to bathroom OFTEN, but no UTI, she is also taking water pill and trip to BR 7 to 10 times a day(24 hrs) plus she like to drinks lot of water. It is gravity issues for her.