My grandma makes approx. 45000$ a year and has 285000$ in in investments, etc. I agreed to take her in, when she was in the rehab from her stroke BC she lived 1.5 hours away and could obviously not be able to live alone. However, the dementia was not obvious BC she had nothing to remember or do for herself. I visited 3-4 times a week. Made her special meals and stayed for 4 he's each visit. The dementia has made my job turn from making meals and doing laundry to a much more complicated job! I've only going to have been married 2 years in April. (God bless my husband) . she doesn't like to admit that she will never walk again. Much less admit that she has onset dementia. Her therapist wants her to be able to stand next to the kitchen counter for 10 mins 3 times a day, she can only do 3 mins when ever she feels like it. She is currently paying me 1000$ a month and will cover her personal items such as fixadent diapers etc. She has a living will which all her assets will be split between my sister and I whom doesn't do a thing including call or write except when its a holiday and expects a check. She has agreed to helpy husband with a down payment on a home where she can live the rest if her years, I would hire in home help in order to keep her from a nursing home. We are currently renting and the idea of possibly having to move every year makes me sick.. 2-3 months I'd be packing and unpacking. My husband works. Son is in high school. She can't help h self let alone me! So that's why she's helping. She does remember this and speaks of it often. Always wants to know if I found "our" house. I have a phone conference w her financial advisor on Monday to discuss the penalties for taking out the money. ~25-30k. This would be the only thing and way I feel like I would get what I deserve for taking care if her over my sister. I'm still going to have to find out if I can keep her name on the mortgage and off the deed. Mt husband had been pretty recently divorced so it I s helping us to be able to use her estate to qualify. So with all that being said...... Is it wrong for me to tell her that I don't believe that 1000$ a month isnt enough since she's helping us get a house ? BC when I have to repeat things 50 times a day and get in fights w her helping her use the phone its always broken unless I dial or god forbid if her schedule changes for some reason it goes on alllllll day, I almost want to tell her to forget it! She doesn't realize how good it is and how much money I'm saving her! Is it unfair and selfish of me to think this way? I am with her 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. Except for 3 hours a week she gets a caregiver to take her to hair salon drs etc. And if it isn't unfair how do I tell her I deserve more to care for her? And yes I have a POA. Just cannot touch the trust.
You could have him write up a care agreement which you can get paid.. Also he can advise you about other ways she can help you out like paying utilities... She may be able to buy the house herself without medicare penalty BUT the Attorney will give you the proper advise...
Keep checking back here many have dealt with these issues.. Just remember different laws in different states..
Hugs