My great-grandma recently moved and asked me to go with her. I thought it would fun, so I agreed. Now that I am here, I am almost positive that she has dementia. It's like living with someone that is drunk 24/7. She forgets everything, so she constantly repeats herself and makes me repeat myself. She really does not know how to do the simplest things. I have showed her 8 times how to use the microwave and it's the kind that you just have to push one button, not the kind that you have to type in the time. Okay so it's hard, but if I really had to, I could put up with that stuff. But here's where it gets tough. She is extremely mean to me. The first incident was when I was watching TV in the living room. She came up to me, took the remote, turned the TV off, and told me to go to my room. Several other things has happened. I've only been here 1 week, but yesterday, she really hurt me. The dog was sitting in my lap and she told the dog "Get down, she doesn't love you." And then a few minutes later when they were sitting outside, the dog wanted to come inside, where I was, and she told the dog "Don't go in there with her. She doesn't love us." I told my meme (her daughter which lives right down the street) and my mom and at first, they were nice and trying to help me and told my grandma to stop being a jerk. But now, they said I am not allowed to leave. I'm 17, that makes me want to leave even more! They are forcing me to stay here and be miserable just because no one else wants to take care of her. She has money. Why can't they hire a professional? I cry myself to sleep and no one seems to care.
A little more detail will help to give you more specific advice. But again - this isn't your responsibility- especially at your age.
The rest of the family is probably thinking that g-grandma doesn't have too long to live and you will soon be able to go back to having your own life. It's a good solution for everyone else, for sure. The problem is, there's no way of knowing how long an elderly person can live and in the meantime, your life has become intolerable.
Unfortunately, if you are counting on family help (for example, to support you while you get through college) you may be putting that in jeopardy by claiming your independence, at any age. So you need to think about that, and think about what other resources you may have available to you. Is there another family member you could live with (an older sibling, perhaps?). Are you capable of being self-supporting?
Good luck and let us know how you are doing, please.
I assume you are getting room and board. Where are you getting money for things like haircuts and magazines and clothing? Are you being paid for caregiving?
Have your completed high school? More about you will help us help you.
I'm having a little trouble grasping this situation.
You can call adult protective services and ask what to do with her so that you can get a break. Be sure to tell them that you are 17 and that your mom is forcing you to stay there so she does not have to pay anyone. Feel free to tell them how you feel unsafe when grandma does her weirdness. They are the key to the door.
I agree that you do not need a degree to take photos - it's art, an expression. Fine. But you need an Associate's at least to get a decent job to support your art. Very few photographers make it big, and fewer make it big who have not taken classes on marketing themselves. Your mother is taking advantage of you not "being in school" and her having to pay something - she's using you to not have to pay something for grandma. Taking in person classes is expensive, but it is a way to set firm boundaries with your mom.
Justagirl, I'm so glad we gave you the courage to stand up for yourself, and that your mother was acting out of ignorance of the true situation and not self preservation and malice. Your bravery has tipped the apple cart and started the process of finding g gma the help she needs. Kudos!
Keep us up-to-date. Peace and deep breaths. Be out in fresh air it helps.
NOW!
Glad you're figuring it out and asked for help...stay strong...we're rooting for you and yours!
In my opinion, you are a quick fix to a problem that needs addressing. The adults in your family need to take on this responsiblity. I agree with many others that have posted. Get the ball rolling; if you are in high school start with the school counselor, she can contact social services. If you already graduated, call social services - just say your grandma needs help. Their are services out there to help all of you.
By the way, what is meant by a "meme"? I looked it up, and everything I've seen points to an imitation that becomes viral; is there another meaning?