My dad and I cared for my grandparents for years. Last year my grandpa died from Alzheimers & in December my dad passed away (cancer sucks). My grandma suffers from dementia and I wasn't able to take care of her on my own anymore. She started hallucinating more and would call 911 every night. Once my dad died, power of attorney automatically went to my mom. My mom never liked my grandma and my siblings never helped take care of my grandma. They would only come to visit her to get their annual birthday checks. When my grandma moved into assisted living, my mom decided to completely re-do my grandmas house for my sister to live in. I'm talking a whole new house renovation basically. (New kitchen, ceilings, flooring, bathroom makeovers, knocking down walls and refurnishing the house). All of this was money taken from my grandmas account who has no clue what is going on with her own house. I then noticed that my mom bought 2 mac laptops using my grandmas money for my siblings. I called her out on it and said that it wasn't right for them to do that. Especially because they haven't visited my grandma or even bothered to give her a call. I go to visit my grandma every other day and my family just says my grandma is "not their problem". But they have no problem with spending my grandmas money for their pleasure. Am I overreacting? I feel like this is wrong and something should be done. My biggest fear is my grandma running out of money to pay for the assisted living she is in right now and not being able to provide for her. Any tips on what I should do?
Rest your mind. No you are NOT overreacting. Your mother is... HIDEOUSLY! abusing her power of attorney. I imagine she was documented as the replacement for your father? - which would explain how this authority passed automatically to her. I'm sorry for your loss, and even sorrier that your grandmother has been so badly let down.
Just one point: you're sure your mother doesn't have legitimate rights to these funds under the terms of your father's will, are you?
But in any case you should get professional advice. The Assisted Living Facility should have a staff member who knows where to go for financial and legal guidance - it'll be somebody on the administration team. Pop in during office hours and ask them for help.
And good catch.
I will look into it with the staff from the facility my grandma is at. Thank you for the info!
And yes, she was documented as the replacement of my father. And to answer your other question, I am sure my mom doesn't have rights to these funds under the terms of my father's will because my father wasn't able to make his will. His passing came very quickly and was not really expected to happen so soon. He never got around to making one.
You are a very caring and loving granddaughter. Your grandmother is lucky to have you look out for her. I'm very sorry to hear what is happening with your grandmother's money. It is sad but lots of family members take advantage of the elderly financially. I hope a social worker can help you access the resources you need to figure out what is happening with your grandmother's money. I admire your integrity and decency. Your grandmother is truly blessed to have you.
I've been mulling this over, trying to think of a way that your mother could use your GM's funds, pursuant to your father's will, if he had one.
However, this raises another issue. Since he died intestate (w/o a will), distribution would be established by the laws of the state in which he lived (I'm assuming he also died in the same state).
Your profile doesn't indicate the state in which you or your father lived. So do some research on "intestacy laws, _____________________ (name of your father's resident state). It may be that a surviving spouse is in fact the person who would inherit your father's assets. And, if may be that you and your siblings are first order heirs, and that your father's assets should be yours, not your mother’s.
If under intestacy laws, your GM would be in line for assets from your father, those assets would PRESUMABLY be considered assets and subject to powers of the POA for your GM, but that also assumes that your mother's authority is in fact active under those terms. If there are contingencies, her authority would depend on those contingencies.
Have you read the POA?
But this doesn't address the issue of splurging of your GM's assets.
There still is the issue of personal and perhaps wanton and inappropriate use of your GM's fundsyou’re your mother’s actions could be considered financial abuse of her authority, and specifically “elder abuse” under some state’s elder laws.
This is where competent and experienced legal advice comes into play. Not to diminish anything anyone else has said, you need to consult with an attorney familiar with handling elder financial abuse. I’ve always gone with firms of attorneys with multiple practice areas. An elder law or estate planning attorney could advise on the issues of intestacy and inheritance, and an attorney in the same firm could handle any litigation, if necessary, to enjoin your mother from abusing your GM’s funds.
Gets complex, doesn’t it?
I've been mulling this over, trying to think of a way that your mother could use your GM's funds, pursuant to your father's will, if he had one.
However, this raises another issue. Since he died intestate (w/o a will), distribution would be established by the laws of the state in which he lived (I'm assuming he also died in the same state).
Your profile doesn't indicate the state in which you or your father lived. So do some research on "intestacy laws, _____________________ (name of your father's resident state). It may be that a surviving spouse is in fact the person who would inherit your father's assets. And, it may be that you and your siblings are first order heirs, and that your father's assets should be yours, not your mother’s.
If under intestacy laws, your GM would be in line for assets from your father, those assets would PRESUMABLY be considered assets and subject to powers of the POA for your GM, but that also assumes that your mother's authority is in fact active under those terms. If there are contingencies, her authority would depend on those contingencies.
Have you read the POA?
But this doesn't address the issue of splurging of your GM's assets.
There still is the issue of personal and perhaps wanton and inappropriate use of your GM's funds. Your mother’s actions could be considered financial abuse of her authority, and specifically “elder abuse” under some state’s elder laws.
This is where competent and experienced legal advice comes into play. Not to diminish anything anyone else has said, you need to consult with an attorney familiar with the issues constituting elder financial abuse, and how to stop it and seek redress (or repayment) of spent funds.
I’ve always gone with firms of attorneys with multiple practice areas. An elder law or estate planning attorney in that practice area could advise on the issues of intestacy and inheritance, and an attorney in a litigation practice area in the same firm could handle any litigation, if necessary, to enjoin your mother from abusing your GM’s funds.
Gets complex, doesn’t it?
No worries, GA, whatever you say bears repeating twice!