Can a family member that was present during a pivotal doctor's appointment, but doesn't have medical POA share that info?
I've found myself in a tight spot. Grandma was being evaluated for dementia. She was having trouble with daily activities like turning on hoses, operating the dvd/vcr player she's had for decades, and learning to operate her new oven. Once accusing family of stealing her remote because the button was a different color than she remembered, and accusing me of stealing things like her garden tools which she later found in her hiding spot. This has been happening infrequently, until a headache last yr that lasted a week, for which painkillers had no effect. (Grandma has Von Willebrands{a bleeding disorder} but takes Excedrin like it's candy) She refused a doctor at that point. Then her behavior got aggressive, and she began yelling at me and my children for things that never happened. These moments went from happening once a month to every other day, and she started occasionally calling me by my mother's name, and forgetting my kids names even though she'd lived with them everyday for 2 yrs. She still swore she's fine, and continued to refuse a doctor. So I wrote down every instance, and presented it to my Mom who was in denial, until an argument over Grandma not being able to use her Costco membership card as a credit card. So then one thing led to another and we found her a geriatrician. She just turned 89, but is in good physical shape when it comes to muscles, bones etc. However, her doctor discovered her balance is horrible, her vitamin D was completely depleted, she's in stage 2 kidney failure, she likely has sleep apnea, she admitted to passing out in the yard or her room, and she scored a 20 on the MMSE test (parts of which he gave twice, but she failed to remember both times) Most of those are now accepted markers for dementia. However, since she's afraid of doctors, and this was just her first visit, she was scheduled to go back for a follow-up in regards to her memory. She has since been talked into turning on my mother and I (her caregivers) by her sons who only talk to her once or twice a week. She insists the doctor told her that she was in perfect health, just needed to take a vitamin, and was going to live to be 100 (what she's been telling her sons). What he actually told her is that he has some concerns, and that he believed she had 2.5 yrs if she didn't take his advice, and maybe 5 yrs if she did.{it's been almost a yr since then, and she has lost weight visibly, I'd guess about 15+lbs} She stopped taking her prescriptions consistently, then all together, and never returned to her appointment for a re-evaluation, or back to the doctor since. Mom was there the day this all happened, and witnessed everything, but Grandma refused that day to sign a consent form for information. Here's the kicker. Grandma has a loaded .22 pistol next to her bed, and has shown signs of paranoia in the past including a belief that if she didn't lock her car a homeless person would sleep in it.( we live very rural with no homeless people anywhere in 25+miles. And while locking your car is normal she insisted that was why she did it.) Since Mom was in the room during her doctor's appointment, and is a witness to all of this, can she share that information with her brothers? There are some confabulations with serious accusations now flying, and it will likely become a court battle to prove them false. It's almost as if she lost a huge chunk of her memory during the headache last year. I'm not sure disclosing her medical problems would even help, but it would be nice to know if there will be any trouble in doing so, and I'm really hoping to avoid a court case just so we can subpoena her records. I'm at a loss. I hope some of you have some experience that can help. (sorry for the novel folks)
One important thing, if you can get Grandmother back to her primary doctor, have her checked for an urinary tract infection, as such an infection can play havoc with an elder's memory. The test is very easy, in fact you can call her primary doctor and ask if the urine sample can be done at home without taking Grandmother to his/her office. If it is a UTI, antibiotics will be prescribed, tell Grandmother those are super vitamin pills.
I hope Grandmother is taking her Vit D pills, those are very important. My very elderly parents use to sit outside to soak up some sun whenever possible as the sun is a good source of Vit D.
Get Grandmother's gun and put blanks in it.
And yes, lose the gun.
You could lose your kids. You are allowing them to be exposed to abuse.
Something to think about.
Because of the lawsuit I can not speak to her, as the accusations start flying. We're filming every interaction, but that doesn't stop her brain from making up stories. That also means I can not enter her house. Nothing I can do about the gun without getting some other authority involved.
Who is suing whom, if we might ask? And for what? Is it your mom who is being sued?
Who is currently taking care of grandma?
Does the person who is being sued have legal counsel? That person would be the one you ask the question about revealing medical information.
The HIPAA form you make reference to allows a Doctor to disclose information about a patient under her/his care to another person or entity. I don't believe that anyone who simply was in the room and heard the information could be at fault for reporting to another person what they heard. If the DOCTOR were to reveal it without the patient's permission, then the patient, I believe, would have grounds to sue the doctor.
In certain circumstances, a doctor, even without a release, has a "duty to warn" if they feel a patient is going to do harm to themselves or to others. So if grandma said to the doctor "I'm going to take my gun and kill my daughter", the doctor would have a duty to contact both your mother and law enforcement.
I felt no qualms about sharing my own observations, whether what I saw and heard was in a doctor's office or an NH community room. I am not subject to HIIPA rules. None of us had medical POA, by the way.
My case might be very different than yours. I don't know. Here was my situation.
1) Mother never objected to having one of us in the exam room with her.
2) In our family of 7 (+ in-laws) the accepted way of communicating was for whoever knew something to tell the others. Failing to do so was frowned upon. ("Didn't anyone call you? Oh, I'm so sorry. I should have called you, but I thought my daughter did. It wasn't deliberate!")
3) We trusted each other. We didn't always agree on what should be done for mother, but we never doubted that the motive was always to do what was best.
4) There was no money involved. There was no inheritance for anyone, regardless of any decisions made along the way.
Granddaughter83, to the extent your family situation is different than this, your mother may have genuine concerns about what to tell whom. I would not have concerns. I'd just tell the family anything I knew about Mom's health.
They don't want to hear about her health? Fine. Don't tell them. But that can't have anything to do with whether the contract is valid, can it?
I'd call Adult Protective Services, tell them that Grandma is a vulnerable elder with no care.