Father in law late stage, lost spouse of 60 years and the funeral is Saturday. He asks where she is over and over, we tell him, he asks again 10 minutes later. What to expect at funeral, do we keep telling him and watching pain 10 seconds the he talks about unrelated subject, then asks again. Where's. Mom. Suggestions
He will be overwhelmed and possibly frightened at the number of people, the noise, the confusion as well as the length of time will be exhausting for him.
Have someone stay home with him and keep his regular routine and surroundings.
As to what to tell him..
1.Mom went to the store
2.Mom went to the Doctors office
3.Mom had an appointment to get her hair done
4.Mom went to lunch with her girlfriend.
Then repeat 1 through 4 as often as necessary.
Do not tell him she died or passed away he will relive that death as if it is the first time every time.
If you are planning a lunch after the funeral and if it will be small he could attend but if there will be a lot of people again I suggest he stay where he is comfortable. A few people can come by and visit later but keep the visiting number to a few and only for as long as he can tolerate the visits.
Good luck.
Aging Care has an article that may help:
www.agingcare.com/articles/telling-someone-with-dementia-their-spouse-died-133806.htm
Angel
Telling him his wife passed, when he has no ability to remember and will have to process it over and over again is a cycle that will never end.
Angel