My dad was 91 when he died. My mom died in 2003 with Alzheimer's. My dad wanted to join her since she passed. I'm the nurse and next door neighbor. I had cared for him for almost 20 years. It's been 3 months and I cannot motivate myself to move forward. I took a hiatus from nursing and after 30 years of nursing both as a career and a daughter caring for elderly parents, I do not know if I can practice as a nurse any longer. The task of working full time as a nurse and caring for my parents have completely burned me out. My daughter is in her 3rd year at college and is thriving. My husband is very supportive of me, but I've lost interest in most things. Ive become isolative, lack motivation and often do not leave my house for days. I am scheduled to see a psychologist in two weeks. Any advice?
I had zero energy after my journey with caregiving, even though I had help with professional caregivers. It was just all that stress for the past 7 years.
Have a doctor run a blood panel for B-12 and D, to see if either or both are low. Mine were low. Once I started getting the full dosage recommended I started to feel a bit better, felt the energy coming back.
I also went to talk therapy, and lucked out finding a therapist who was around my age and who had also dealt with her own issues with elderly parents. Thus, when she would say "I know what you are going through", I knew that she really did understand.
Once you start feeling better, could you work part-time? I am so glad I have a job where I need to get up in the morning, get my brain running on all cylinders.
My step mom a few months ago moved my dad into nursing home (after a fall). She had been 24x7 for nearly 5 years. When he first went in, she was so exhausted and burned out that she pretty much slept for the first several weeks. The years of caregiving really take a toll. She had a physical and works with a psychologist and is getting her spirit back & started to get interested in things again.
I think you are taking the right first step. Give your self a little time to grieve and recoup. Take care.
"Move a muscle, change thought."
Easy to say but incredibly hard to do for me..
One thing that helps me greatly is my friendly little dog, Elsie...I talk to her like she is a person...
Grace + Peace,
Bob
Blessings and peace
Gloria
I lost my husband of 29 years last summer. He was much older but was doing fine till 5 years ago, and his final days started when he had a stroke 9 months prior to his passing. So my care giving experience was much shorter than you were. However, I couldn't move on and only very recently (7~8 month after) I started pulling my life together out of necessity.
I sold the house in a hurry after his first stroke so that I could move him to a facility where they can properly care for him, but kept boxes & boxes of his belongings in my small apartment. I work as a computer programmer and my job kept me busy. So I dismissed that the mess in my apartment is from my laziness, but I finally realized recently that the issue was in me than outside. I wasn't be able to bring myself to touch or clean up his items.
I started to move on but very gradually. My advice to you is to allow yourself some slack, but listen to yourself and follow what you feel. You mentioned you arranged to see a psychologist. The action you took by itself is a sign that you are ready to move on. There is no need to rush.
Again, everyone is different, but let me dare say this: you are not alone. My best wishes to you and hope your visit to the psychologist helped you.
When my father passed away 3 years ago I did the same. Mourned his death and continued moving forward with my life.
Basically, in order to get to the other side, you have to walk directly through.
Take care of yourself by letting yourself feel... good or bad, happy or sad. Don't worry about the future. Just take care of yourself TODAY. Tomorrow will worry about itself.
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