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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Having worked with clients that hallucinate, I always go along with what ever they think they see.... one lady constantly had cattle going thru her room...I would go in a 'shoo them out', make a bid deal of making sure they were all gone, then she would go sound asleep.... so maybe if you go thru the motions of 'getting that woman out from under the bed' it will help him.... to him it is real.... and nothing you say will change his mind.... it wouldn't hurt to try....it may not help at all, if not, then get him a urinal to keep by his bed... like I said, to him it is real, and very frightening to them.... God knows caregivers go to some extremes to help those we love.... Also, have you asked him why the woman is there, or what does he think she wants or wants to do.... if he is able to communicate that with you, it may give you a clue how to 'get rid of her'..... good luck..... but don't try to convince him she isn't there, because in the world he lives in... she IS there.
I would discuss it with his doctor. There are medications that can help. If his regular doctor can't help, try to find a geriatric psychiatrist. Until then I would try to assure him that the woman is safe there and will cause no harm. I wouldn't try to convince him a woman is not under the bed. Just comfort him that she's nice, kind and will leave soon.
As long as he gets angry when you get him up, I would stop getting him up or change the time you get him up. Can he wear a pull up and sleep on pad? I would prefer cleaning up than a big, upsetting scene. Maybe, with medication, the agitation will decease and he will get up easier.
Maybe there is something about the bathroom he's not liking, cold floors, cold toilet seat, bright lights, etc. See if you can figure out what he's not liking. What about a portable toilet by the bed, so he doesn't have to walk far? I would just try to do something different to adjust to him, rather than convincing him to comply with what you want. That's not likely to happen and you will become frustrated over time. If it's not working, move on to Plan B.
I totally agree with the above comment. There's no use in trying to convince your dad that there is no lady under the bed. All that will do is irritate and agitate him more. Look under the bed and tell your dad that she's gone. Maybe tell him that you've stuffed pillows underneath there so she can't fit anymore.
I also agree with having a urinal next to your dad's bed but this is a double-edged sword. While it's convenient, If he uses it while lying down the urine might come trickling out but will your dad understand that he has to sit up to use it?
Have you considered using Depends at night for your father?
Thanks for the suggestions. He has gotten very sexual [if that is the right word] with this stage of his dementia. He plays with himself alot and he wants the woman under the bed to help him. :[ The anger of getting up is not the fear of the bathroom but the fear that she will be gone when he returns. The damage from the stroke is in the frontal lobe so his inhibitions are gone. It seems to be getting worse with the dementia.
we just went to a new neurologist yesterday and he gave him a sleeping aid and it was worst than ever this morning. He did suggest a drug called sequel for the hallucinations but what I read about that drug is scary.
The drugs can be scary but then so is the disease and having hallucinations. I think it would be worth giving it a try, just be vigilant about reporting possible side effects, it might take a few tries to get the right drugs/dosage.
My cousin had seroquel at night for awhile. I was alarmed too, when I read about it, but I talked to the staff and multiple people about it. Apparently, it's not uncommon and is quite helpful. She had very small doses and it really helped her sleep. She no longer needed it after she went back on Cymbalta, though.
we started seroquel last night and Dad has been sleeping all day. I am afraid to give it again tonight if he is going to sleep all day. Does that even out after a few days?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Also, have you asked him why the woman is there, or what does he think she wants or wants to do.... if he is able to communicate that with you, it may give you a clue how to 'get rid of her'..... good luck..... but don't try to convince him she isn't there, because in the world he lives in... she IS there.
As long as he gets angry when you get him up, I would stop getting him up or change the time you get him up. Can he wear a pull up and sleep on pad? I would prefer cleaning up than a big, upsetting scene. Maybe, with medication, the agitation will decease and he will get up easier.
Maybe there is something about the bathroom he's not liking, cold floors, cold toilet seat, bright lights, etc. See if you can figure out what he's not liking. What about a portable toilet by the bed, so he doesn't have to walk far? I would just try to do something different to adjust to him, rather than convincing him to comply with what you want. That's not likely to happen and you will become frustrated over time. If it's not working, move on to Plan B.
I also agree with having a urinal next to your dad's bed but this is a double-edged sword. While it's convenient, If he uses it while lying down the urine might come trickling out but will your dad understand that he has to sit up to use it?
Have you considered using Depends at night for your father?