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Are you able to provide that kind of care for your father? You’ll likely have to give up your own life to do this. But that said, if he qualifies for VA aid & attendance then He can use that money to pay you.
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Before determining if you can get paid, consider what caregiving will entail. More often than not on here, both the parent and child don't realize how big a job this is and how it will affect them.

Does he expect you to live in his home 24/7? What would happen to your current home?

Are you okay with bathing him and helping with bathroom things? He may not need much help with that now, but he will in the future. Are you able to lift him?

Would you have to quit your job? If your father remains alive for 5-10 years, how do you plan to get back into the work force after he passes? What about your own retirement?

Your schedule and life as you know it will be gone. There will be no more vacations, dinners with friends, church, dating (assuming you're single) or just going and doing when you feel like it. At some point you won't be able to safely leave him alone. And you will find out quickly that friends and family will not step up to give you a break.

Sorry to be a downer, but I see it so much on here... caregivers who may not outlive their parent because they had no real idea how rough it would be.
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If you find out, will you let me know. My DH is a veteran. I take care of him. I could use the money.
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GardenArtist Oct 2020
Tevin, see my answer above.    Hope that helps you both.
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Is your father already registered for care with the VA?  If so, a social worker assigned to his team would be available to offer insights to you.    Contact the VA where he's registered and ask to speak to the social worker for his team (green, red, whatever).   If you have any correspondence from the VA, especially a notice of appointments, it may indicate his team if you or he don't remember.

These are two links from which to start:

https://www.caregiver.va.gov/

https://www.va.gov/family-member-benefits/comprehensive-assistance-for-family-caregivers/
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I tried to get those services for my FIL who is WWII vet. It depends on his status. He doesn't even qualify for free dental. They pay for two days at a senior daycare. He is 93 and has been living with us for 4 years already. Jan 2020 he fell and broke his hip and hasn't walked since. He is more than a one person assist, listen to these other people have a backup plan because care can change drastically within two weeks.
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