He is 79 and the dementia is getting bad. He is mean to her a lot which causes her to react in anger. I have never heard her say anything to him like that and she cries to me all the time that her grandfather doesn't like her. Her and I currently live with my parents and wonder if I need to move out for her safety and well being.
If there are financial issues of finding your own place, seek help through a local women's shelter. If you have to, go to a police station and ask for help in finding temporary shelter.
The sooner you both leave, the better. Your daughter is already displaying signs of trauma.
Is your mother in danger also or is your father directing his hostility only toward your daughter?
Additionally, the thinks she wants to KILL him? Are you saying that you are allowing your 5 year old to interact with a paranoid, delusional person?
Ma'am, you are in danger of losing custody of your child, and for good reason. You are exposing her to potential physical harm, but worse, the psychological harm that this is doing to her psyche and the physical harm it's doing to her brain are enormous. Get out and ask her doctor for a referral to a therapist.
How is your mother planning to manage your father in your absence?
If the medicine doesn't work, then move out immediately. No small child should be subject to that, it could affect her later on in life. Your Dad's dementia is only going to get worse. Have your mother come visit her grand-daughter once you settle in.
Sorry to be so gruff but dementia can cause people to do things they would never do in their right minds. It can be hard to accept that this is not his fault, it's the dementia. I would not leave unattended with him.
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