I really need help on my situation. I am a 63 year male re-married 3 years ago, no children and both my parents are in their early 90's. I have a brother who is 67 living with his wife and 2 teens ( he also re-married 15 years ago. I was living with my wife up until 8 months ago in New York ( explain later) and my brother rents a house 2 blocks away from my parents in Montreal Canada. My parents own their home and is fully paid ( 500K+ value). My parents receive a total of $3500 monthly in combined pensions and actually do save well over half of it. They do not need financial support BUT insist that I PERMANENTLY live and care for them 24/7 at the same refusing me to go back to my wife as they believe I have an obligation to PERMANENTLY stay with them till death. I am not allowed to have company over or friends around. BOTH my parents are delusional, argumentative, hate everybody, do not want company or visitors, always repeating what a big failure I was as well as my brother. My brother was living with my parents for well over the last 6 years, free rent, food, kind of leeching from them while his wife and my mother were always fighting to the point of dishes being thrown around. When my brother left them 8 months ago or should I say got kicked out, my father did not stop calling me every day to come and help him out and drive him and my mother to their constant hospital & doctor visits averaging at least twice a week. I had numerous arguments with my own wife about me leaving for a short temporary stay at my parents to figure out what I can do with them. Figuring I can convince them to go to some kind of home for the elderly. Not a chance in hell, they would not hear any of it. After 8 months of total commitment to them and a threat of divorce from my wife, I had enough. Between administering their meds, housework, cooking, driving them,cleaning arguing etc. I came to the decision of taking the next bus back to NY next week. The do not make any sense, have diabetic, alzheimer, dementia and all the stuff that comes with age.I had to give up my job and scrap my car as there was no place to keep it. I am not married to my parents as it is I who needs to get ahead in life and this situation is a huge problem. I am also getting some flak from my brother as he says I am irresponsible and that I am abandoning my parents. My parents absolutely do not want my wife around as they find faults in everyone. I do feel I have a moral responsibility but to what point ? I also think that my brother will attempt to stop me returning to NY and my wife just so I can be a slave here. Who do I call for legal advice on this matter ? Can my parents be forced to live elsewhere because of their mental condition ? I like to help but I have a life to live.
With no car yet my job options are limited and we are heading soon for the third month of back rent. I know that if I do not find a job soon, any job, it will cause much hardships for both of us. I may have to end up working for minimum wage if it gets to that with any luck of finding one.
.The solution I have suggested for them is that a live-in housekeeper be hired that can also drive, wether they will accept that or not remains to be seen, but right now, I have my own problems to attend to. Losing 8 months salary, a job and a car has put a large dent on our marriage. What really hurts me the most is that my wife has taken the position as the sole provider and I feel useless without a job and a car.
How long had you had the job? Federal law requires time off for care of a family member once you have been in their employ for one year. I don't remember how long the employer is required to hold your position though. Check out Family Medical Leave Act. But, there is a process that has to be followed prior to the leave with the employer. If they dissuaded you from doing that, then they are breaking the law.