I am my 95 year old dad's sole caregiver, 24/7. He's got dementia and cancer. I see all these commercials on television about Christmas sales, Christmas shows, concerts, etc., and it just sounds so foreign to me right now. It's just my dad, and me. My son lives out on the west coast. My siblings either have their own families, or the single ones aren't interested in celebrating here with dad. Mostly, I'm just so worn out. Seems like the only way I know what day it is - is when to take the garbage cans to the curb! I've always been so happy to celebrate Christmas. Now, I just wish it would hurry up and go by without having to celebrate it.
We're not alone. I propose we all drink a toast - even if it's in cold coffee or Diet Coke - on the day to our "friends on the Forum." Merry Christmas, every one!
However I am grateful to the Lord for any and every small blessing. And thanks to God....I look forward to being with my husband once again when it's my time.
I've learned that big losses bring me closer to God. And there I have found peace. That's Christmas after all.
This time of year can be very hard on caregivers, even more so if you're the one who always planned the family holiday for everyone else, which is also common, it's another caregiver attribute. Being a full time care giver is draining. I like the idea one person had of somehow getting a day to yourself, even just one as a treat. What I did this year to try to keep myself from getting too depressed, I didn't put up a tree, there was no reason to, but I got a few poinsettia's to put around the house, and some battery operated candles (they're safer when you're distracted by so many other things). It gives the place as much a Christmas feel as a tree and presents and a lot easier, even made dad happy. I cut back drastically on gifts, I just flat out told everyone (adult children), I just can't do it and that's it, that helped, things to keep in mind for next year. To be a good caregiver, you have to take care of yourself, you just do, you have to find time for yourself, treat yourself in some way and you have to be able to get a break which is a must, any way you can. And sometimes you'll probably have to be very creative to find a way to get that break, but like I said, it's a must.
Overall we as caregivers are going to have moments of sadness, good memories but they make us sad, sadness from simply not being able to move on with our own lives, which only those who have lost and caregivers can understand. I often ask myself why? Why have things turned out like this? There is a reason for everything, and some day we'll know why, so do the best you can with what's placed at your feet, whether good or bad, hardship or not. Do not be heavy hearted, for those who have taken on this responsibility carry this heaviest burden for a reason, carry it well. But do not forget to love yourself, there is nothing wrong with that, take care of yourselves. Hugs and a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all.
ashlynne - what a crazy circus. I have a Christmas Day ER story too from a few years ago. I swore never again. It was not an emergency either. She ate rich food after a gal bladder operation and got threw up. What did she expect? But we had to go through all the drama, at 7 am and I hadn't even had a cup of coffee. My tongue was hanging out. Also being Christmas day the street people had come into the ER to get out of the cold - it was insane...
A skinned finger is not an emergency. You could send her some big girl panties but I doubt she will put them on.
You know what they say about a narcissist - How many of them does it take to put in a light bulb? Only one -they hold it and the world revolves around them.
A narcissist is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house
There's nothing wrong with narcissists that reasoning with them won't aggravate."
My husband and I divorced for religious reasons. He thought he was God and I didn't
What's a narcissist's idea of being a "slave"? Not being able to boss everyone else about.
What is a narcissist's idea of equality? Being equally bossy to everyone else
What is a narcissist's idea of being abused? Occasionally having to go along with someone else's preferences
and the last one which isn't funny
What's a sure-fire way of getting daily verbal abuse?
Be the child of a narcissist.
It is a ride, isn't it? (((((hugs))))) to you and let the phone ring and go to voice mail..
See All Answers