I've been feeling very depressed lately. Reality has kicked in and I'm so aware of the fact my life is winding down. Driving 90 miles round trip to visit Mom in the nursing home (so depressing, and she cries and wants to come with me when I leave), bad back, feeling old and achy myself (and yes, have been to the doctor(s), worrying about how much longer hubby and I can keep the house up, children living 1000 miles away and knowing no children will be there for us, we don't want to go to them as good chance they will move in the next five years, etc. I just got my letter about 401k deemed distribution requirement. Felt like a kick in the teeth. I'm trying to enjoy things, but have lost my ambition and feel pretty negative.
Anyone else feel like this? I really don't like it, don't want to feel this way.
So, now I say "if the whiskey don't get me, I'll live 'til I die." Good old Irish pub song. (I really don't get anywhere near enough whiskey. I hold my liquor like a sieve, and my religious persuasion is one that allows use of alcohol but not getting drunk, though I enjoy what I can.) I have a pretty serious genetic tendency to depression and in my younger years needed medication on a couple of occasions, but now I can usually manage it with some good low fat dark chocolate or a whole chocolate meal (i.e. cocoa cereal with chocolate Silk and a nonfat chocolate pudding or chocolate frozen yogurt with that fancy whipped skim milk stuff that Whole Foods sell for 3 bucks a can - hey my mental health is worth it - for dessert) and/or a nice hike or bike ride.
It is a fight that must be fought. It may be some darn dry old lemons we have to squeeze to make our lemonade, but squeeze them and squeeze them hard. Find any drop of joy you can find and fend off the negative Nellies as best you can. Just say NO to rectal retinitis (aka sh*%!y outlook on life). Don't be like the ones who close up shop and start saying "I'm too old for..." way before its time and end up sitting around waiting for the end making themselves and everyone around them a little sadder every day. Mix your metaphors, and mix your drinks, people!!
And, BTW, Spring is almost here. We've made it 9/10 of the way, I hope I hope.