I've been feeling very depressed lately. Reality has kicked in and I'm so aware of the fact my life is winding down. Driving 90 miles round trip to visit Mom in the nursing home (so depressing, and she cries and wants to come with me when I leave), bad back, feeling old and achy myself (and yes, have been to the doctor(s), worrying about how much longer hubby and I can keep the house up, children living 1000 miles away and knowing no children will be there for us, we don't want to go to them as good chance they will move in the next five years, etc. I just got my letter about 401k deemed distribution requirement. Felt like a kick in the teeth. I'm trying to enjoy things, but have lost my ambition and feel pretty negative.
Anyone else feel like this? I really don't like it, don't want to feel this way.
So, now I say "if the whiskey don't get me, I'll live 'til I die." Good old Irish pub song. (I really don't get anywhere near enough whiskey. I hold my liquor like a sieve, and my religious persuasion is one that allows use of alcohol but not getting drunk, though I enjoy what I can.) I have a pretty serious genetic tendency to depression and in my younger years needed medication on a couple of occasions, but now I can usually manage it with some good low fat dark chocolate or a whole chocolate meal (i.e. cocoa cereal with chocolate Silk and a nonfat chocolate pudding or chocolate frozen yogurt with that fancy whipped skim milk stuff that Whole Foods sell for 3 bucks a can - hey my mental health is worth it - for dessert) and/or a nice hike or bike ride.
It is a fight that must be fought. It may be some darn dry old lemons we have to squeeze to make our lemonade, but squeeze them and squeeze them hard. Find any drop of joy you can find and fend off the negative Nellies as best you can. Just say NO to rectal retinitis (aka sh*%!y outlook on life). Don't be like the ones who close up shop and start saying "I'm too old for..." way before its time and end up sitting around waiting for the end making themselves and everyone around them a little sadder every day. Mix your metaphors, and mix your drinks, people!!
And, BTW, Spring is almost here. We've made it 9/10 of the way, I hope I hope.
I call it: "Good days and better days" instead of good/bad.
I'm still in bed at 5pm.........might as well stay here until tomorrow. .......
I need to let my doctor know, perhaps my prescription needs to be revised.
Hugs to all,
M88
About that porcelain tile; think about saving yourself more possible heartache that could be cause by ribbping out the very expensive porcelain tile and replacing it with something a prospective buyer might not want. Because my husband had a progressive disease, I decided to improve our house to make it easier to sell, so we could move to a rental. You may not be artistic, but I have a bachelor's degree in fine arts, but lacked the foresight to realize that my improvements might not please someone else. My husband died not long after this incident and I had to sell the house at less than it's value.
Stand tall, breath deep, make yourselves smile! Look at a garden catalog! We can brush this off friends!!! I'm giving you a cyber hug!
Yeah, fighting depression but at least I haven't reached the edge - where falling off the cliff sounds like a really good idea. I've really been thinking about this. I think of all the things that bugs me the most - it's the possibility of losing the 4 x week sponge bathing by the caregiving org. Then it's followed closely by money problem....
My solution is to drown myself in books that are humorous, takes me away from the reality of here.
I noticed the new patterns in today's kitchens are so busy looking I need Dramamine just to walk into them :P So I know how you feel finding one pattern just doesn't mesh with another pattern.
My personal taste is plain... like white cabinets with butcher block counter tops [making a come back] and back to white appliances. As for the flooring, not sure, I do like wood floors.
Back when I was a residential Realtor I use to tell people to remodel as soon as they can so that they can enjoy the new look for awhile before selling the house. You'd think I would take my own advice?
Dealing with my parents for the past 7 years pushed any remodeling back big time. Time and money wise.
Can't afford a decorator? Ask a realtor in to appraise your house, tell them you are interested in selling, but cannot list just now.. Ask what can be done to fix up the house for sale. Plan to use that realtor if they have good advice.
A new update is painting the cabinets, even if they are oak wood. Oak doesn't match too many things. Grey cabinets are popular, and can help tie in different colors-they don't have to match, just go together with the look you are trying for. Your taste may be a bit different than a new buyer's, and kitchens can be made to appeal to most everyone buying. It is often a benefit if a buyer sees potential by re-decorating. Pick the most expensive thing you have re-done, save that, and re-do something less expensive. A backsplash around the sink and counters can tie two things together, such as a floor and a counter-top. You can do it!
I get depressed that with all the curtains I have tried-trying to save money-it would have been better to buy all the same white curtains for all the windows at once, but there was not enough money. Now, we have an eclectic mix-that won't help sell the hose! Depressing, yes.
Go outside, if even for ten minutes.
Take baby steps.
Make a short list of what you want or need to do.
Be grateful if only one or two things get done.
Write in a journal every other day.
Come on here to post as much as it is helping you.
Yes, depression can take hold of anyone. One does not have to be mentally ill to suffer from depression. Be kind to yourself.