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Perhaps if yiu used the term, your underwear these folks might use them without an argument. Calling them diapers is humiliating.
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It's a good idea to ask for a consult with a geriatric nurse or CNA from a healthcare agency or a geriatric support group - many of which are offered at hospitals - to have your question answered most effectively for your patient. We use the generic adult diapers for my mom which can be purchased at several big box stores or Clubs as well as on Amazon. If your patient also has difficulty with balance, getting out of a chair, or with aspects of dementia, you may want to consult a geriatric physician about "Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus - NPH" as incontinece is one of the 3 primary symptoms.
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North Shore Care Supply has very good products. I used them before hospice was called in. I don't know if I'm allowed to post a link so you can google it if you're interested. As sscoale wrote, Amazon carries them as well.
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North Shore is my go to site. They have free overnight FedEx delivery and excellent customer service. You can tell them your needs and they know exactly what you need. The have all kinds of incontinence supplies.
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HDIS.com (Home Delivery Incontinence Service). They have consultants, on-line help, samples, and they turn the delivery boxes inside out so they are blank. They also have sizes and products not readily available elsewhere. I have no connection with them but years ago, we bought XXL children's diapers from them when our ID/DD son took extra long to toilet-train.
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*panties- never diapers. As to the better pads, I just stopped buying the menstrual pads (I blamed the store for being out of her brand and the bladder control was all they had). I get complaints now and then, but as long as she doesn't notice the label on the package, she is ok with the bladder control.
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I told my mom the briefs were a new kind of Kotex when she first started wearing them. Thereafter, I referred to the briefs as underpants.

If she is on Medicaid, there is a Medicaid Waiver program, called Choices in some states, that pays for incontinence supplies. You apply for it through the local Area Office on Aging.
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Medicare Part A covers hospitalization and Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) treatment. Incontinence supplies provided to patients in a hospital or skilled nursing facility receiving services will be covered as any other medical supply in such a visit.

Medicare does not cover diapers, pads, etc. if bought by the patient ( or their family, etc.) as personal care items. If someone is deemed a home health care patient, that is, receiving care from a Medicare-certified home healthcare agency, Medicare offers some coverage of incontinence supplies. Incontinence briefs and disposible pads are covered when provided in the normal course of a visit. As an example, if a patient requires an incontinence brief change during the course of a home health aide visit to a patient (such as for bathing, or while administering medication or therapy) and the aide must replace an incontinence brief while providing care, the brief or other item can be called a medical supply and covered by Medicare A. So Medicare will cover incontinence supplies home used by health/medical staff only and only during their visits. Medicare does not provide for the agency to leave supplies or deliver supplies for use by the patient or family caregivers outside of when the home health care providers are there. Nor are they covered under Medicare B or Medicare D (Rx coverage).
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Your Dr should be able to write a prescription for you to any medical supply that carries them. Good luck.
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Probe, my mother refused to use anything labeled 'incontinence' but reached a point where ordinary sanitary pads weren't enough. She also required better overnight protection, too but absolutely would not think of wearing adult diapers. Fortunately (for me) she was sick and had to stay in bed for a day or two, where I introduced the bladder control panty. She realized it wasn't the horrible cloth and pins diaper she was imagining, and I was able to transition her to them for bedtime. I refer to them as nightime
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