My mother lives with me. She has mild memory loss. She wakes up disoriented and gets confused about meals. I would like to go away for a few days, but I need someone to be with her in the morning when she gets up and to feed her. Other than that, she is currently fine on her own.
We don't live near anyone that could help out. We don't belong to a church or other groups that might have people we could ask.
I'm not quite sure what to do. I started looking into respite care centers. So far, they all seem to require a minimum two-week stay. That would be too expensive for us and too long. Mom gets disoriented when she stays away from home, too, so two weeks away would be really confusing for her, I think.
I was thinking of finding someone who could possibly just come and stay a couple days. Does anyone have advice on how to find someone reliable?
I would have the person meet mom and see what she thinks, too. It would obviously have to be someone who she is sympatico with or she wouldn't agree to it. In fact, I know she won't like it - regardless what it's called, she's going to call it "baby sitting" and insist that she's not a baby. But, that's a different hurdle and I'll just have to sit down with her and discuss it.
I was also wondering if anyone knows of programs for respite care that are reduced-cost. I keep meaning to call the VA to ask but it's on my "to do" list (that continues to get longer faster than I get to it :-) ).
Carol
Regardless of what she calls it. We in the caregiving world need to realize that we will get "burned out" if once in a blue moon our needs do not get met.
She will not understand, so my advice is to just tell her the morning of. If she truly has and I believe you dementia. The reason I say that, is because she will and I am not saying this with any meanness, just the reality of the word, get mean, nasty, make you feel guilty. Go have fun, and remember, the loving person you can be on the time you are back home with her. I am sorry, alzheimer's and dementia do not understand the needs of others, they end up as some say very self centered. Just remember, it is the disease.
all the best.
d
You might also realize that getting a little help now is a gateway to lining up more assistance / respite in the future to continue taking care of yourself.
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