Why do I have a file full of scripts for tests, bloodwork, MRI etc for myself? I go to the doctor but never follow thru. However, mom is up to date on everything! I just ran into a neighbor/caregiver who lost her mom last year. She told me within 3 months of her mom passing away she began having serious health issues. She said she just fell apart. I just can't seem to find time with work, kids, caring for mom.
Like you, I let my own checkups slide. I was fortunate not to encounter anything horrible, but I did contract an autoimmune situation - very common in caregivers. All any of us can say is that you MUST find time to follow up on your own care. Hire respite care for your mom, take sick leave from work, whatever you must do, you need to take care of yourself. If you don't and you get sick, who will take care of all the people you take care of now?
You are as important as they are. Please follow through on your own healthcare, too, before you have something that will take over your life - and theirs.
Carol
I too let all my doctors appts and upkeep of my health slide and went downhill. I am still 10 pds underweight. I got sick all of the time, my allergies got worse, I had emotional breakdowns, I never followed up with doctors appts myself. Until..... I had to hire CG to help me out with Mom and Dad not only for upkeep shopping of the house, etc....but so that I can follow up with my own doctors appts. I know that you've probably heard this a million times, but you cannot keep taking care of Mom if you don't take care of yourself. You must MAKE the time to follow up on your doctors appts, not only for your Mom, but for yourself and your children. Your children need you healthy and strong. Think of them if you have difficulty thinking of yourself. You may end up in hospital sooner than Mom if you don't, then where will your children and Mom be without you?
Hire CG for those times that you must see the doctors. Please, please take care of yourself and get to those doctors appts!!
That is all about to change and the rest of this year will be all about me!
window. I have been caring for Mother for close to 9yrs I shut down for one whole month thot I was dieing stayed in the bed, got thru that then went to ER for emergency gallbladder removal had to have Mother go to other family in other city for 2 weeks, she just passed Oct 4 so now I can breathe so relieved but please get help somewhere, there's more help now than ever & PRAY,PRAY,PRAY I am prayin for all you caregivers out there you are making God smile
Dear Kathyh, go to God with humility of prayers for enabling of you to continue to take care of Mom and to heal you from all of your sicknesses.
1. Find support – Don't shy away from asking for support, when needed.
2. Recognize the signs of stress – You set your own limits.
3. Get help.
4. Be kind and patient with yourself.
5. Take care of your body.
It seems to me that you really need to look into placing your husband in a nursing home. Yes, it will be hard and you may have to spend down assets, but you can't help him or yourself like this.
You've got to get out from under this stress of daily care without help. You'll still have stress if he's in a nursing home, but it will be more manageable. If you don't find some way to lower your stress, even with the difference in your ages, you could die before your husband.
Please talk with your doctor and your husband's doctor about how to move forward.
Carol
You've been through a lot with your health and his. I'm so sorry is daughter - an RN! - can't take time for him. Truly, though, as much as you miss him and want to have him home, a nearby nursing home close to where you live so you could spend as much time as you wish with him would likely be better. In the end, we all have to make our own decisions based on, well, not great choices! Please keep up with this support group. There are amazing people on agingcare.
Carol
and have done this for years, so I do two for one and don't double up on anything.
MY STAMINA WAS SO POOR I STARTED USING EASTERN MEDICINE,
I looked everything up ashwaghanda, licorice root, and dandelion root and take each tablet every three days, one day ashwaghanda, the next day licorice root and day after that the dandelion, in the form of capsules, I do not like herbal teas.
1. "Ashwagandha, an exotic Indian herb, has remarkable stress-relieving properties comparable to those of powerful drugs used to treat depression and anxiety. In addition to its excellent protective effects on the nervous system, ashwagandha may be a promising alternative treatment for a variety of degenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Ashwagandha has powerful antioxidant properties that seek and destroy the free radicals that have been implicated in aging and numerous disease states. Even more remarkable, emerging evidence suggests that ashwagandha has anti-cancer benefits as well."
2. Licorice is used for various digestive system complaints including stomach ulcers, heartburn, colic, and ongoing inflammation of the lining of the stomach (chronic gastritis). Some people use licorice for sore throat, bronchitis, cough, and infections caused by bacteria or viruses. Licorice is also used for osteoarthritis, systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), liver disorders, malaria, tuberculosis, food poisoning, and chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).
and last but not least dandelion root, Dandelion is used for loss of appetite, upset stomach, intestinal gas, gallstones, joint pain, muscle aches, eczema, and bruises. Dandelion is also used to increase urine production and as a laxative to increase bowel movements. It is also used as skin toner, blood tonic, and digestive tonic. Some people use dandelion to treat infection, especially viral infections, and cancer.
All the above quotes were taken from the www.webMD and I have felt so much better, there is no doubt, that caregiving is a stresser and one cannot ignore the psychological side effects, why then do we make the decisions to be caregivers?
Doing the right thing doesn't always feel comfortable, there have been many days when I've said, I want to throw in the towel, why do I keep doing it?
I too am going in for some kind of foot surgery, i have been wearing a boot since before Christmas, and am in a soft cast for three weeks now, awaiting news of my MRI, the surgery will require months of non weight bearing activity and with have left sided hemi paralysis from one of my strokes, I wonder how much longer I can go on caregiving...
It takes a LOT of self-education, and I suppose that's the rub. It's MY responsibility and time to do the research and to educate myself. It's certainly time consuming. And it's not covered by any insurance (god forbid insurance ever considers paying for vitamins or other supplements, lol .. the system would fall apart). But it's worth the trade-off, for me. While I don't actively see a practitioner or doctor, I *do* take the time to take care of myself. Have to. Otherwise, I'm out of a job.
I've just come to realize that I tire easily, where I used to walk for miles, walking a few streets has now become difficult. I've put on more weight than I care to mention and, I no longer go to the doctor.
You MUST find time for yourself. I'm beginning to start doing that again.
Then there’s my dad, he’s 88 but with few physical problems. He does have COPD, I know he has limited energy because I have COPD also. And my mobility is not good either. I told my mom I can help though and offered to see about their taxes. My brain works but my poor mom has moderate dementia.
My daughter and I live approximately 4 hours away from my parents. The only time I can tend to my own health is when I go home and take a break. Our breaks save my daughter and I a lot, allowing us our time to ourselves.