Mom and Dad live independently. Mom had mild stroke 3 years ago and has gradually become more irrational in her thinking. She refuses help from MDs. She has fired many MDs. I don't feel she is safe to drive, but she refuses to give up her license. She hides her checkbook and then forgets where she put it. Today she drove to police station (after clipping dad's car with her own on the way out of the driveway) to file report that someone stole her checkbook, but Dad says she has just hidden it. She fell in the parking lot, but refused to let the ambulance take her to the hospital for evaluation. She has always had a temper, but is more quick to become angry. I don't believe she takes her medications like she is supposed to. She and Dad have begun proceedings for divorce after 50 years.
Sometimes in situations like this, you have to wait for a crisis, such as a trip to the ER. When she is at the ER, you can talk to the doctors about arranging for a geriatric psych evaluation. If she is having small strokes, they may even be able to help slow the dementia.
I wish I could give you exact advice, but I know most of the time we just have to feel our way through things. Please let us know how things go.
What kind of long term care are you planning for your parents? It sounds like they are ready for assisted living, or 24/care....
Bless you. I know this stage is hard.