If anyone has any suggestions as to what I can do to collect monies from my daughter and son-in-law, please help? My story is as follows:
My daughter lives in Public Housing and has her husband living there although he isn't on the lease. He works a full-time job and she collects a monthly check that housing 'pays her' for living there.
Sadly, and really after-the-fact, I realize that they spend the brunt of their money on prescription pain medication they purchase online and also get from physicians. They're always falling behind in their bills because of this, leaving my grandson going without so very much. His basic needs are met (barely). I have custody of her daughter (my granddaughter) because of this and numerous other issues. It's outright neglect.
I've tried helping her so many times, for the sake of the grandchildren. Also because I loved her so very much. In hindsight, all I've been doing is enabling her.
This past July, my daughter arrived at my house in a frenzy. She was going on and on how their electric, gas and cable were about to be shut off.
In housing, if the 'vital' utilities are terminated, it is grounds for eviction.
She had the bills-in-hand and begged me to help her. Unfortunately, I did.
I went online and paid all three bills via my credit cards.
She/son-in-law promised, gave me their word that it would be paid back monthly.
I have asked for something in writing (which is what I should have done in the first place), but there was always an excuse to avoid.
I've asked both of them, politely, to please begin to give me something that I can put towards the credit card payments. I'm getting nothing but excuses.
I brought it up to her yesterday evening, and she began calling me names that I cannot repeat. Let me just say that I am beyond crushed and brokenhearted.
All of the bills show that the payments went to her address as they were her (and his) utilities. Maybe/hopefully, this might help my case to collect?
I'll finish this by adding that I am disabled and on a fixed income. The credit cards that I have are for emergency use only. I have one department store credit card that I use to purchase my granddaughter's clothing, etc.
The child support payments (not much) that I receive pays that bill and extra.
The child support is reluctantly paid by the 'biological father' (not my son-in-law). This child is from a previous relationship and is an entirely different story (book). My ex and I practically raised her because of so much conflict and neglect.
There's so much to this fiasco but I won't take-up the reader's time.
If anyone has any suggestions, please respond. To say that this incident is the proverbial *straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back* would be an understatement.
My thanks to any responders.
In regard to your grandson, maybe it's time to intervene there via CPS, and at least get him out of that situation... please try to have no regrets... prayers for you to do what has to be done...
Your daughter will not benefit by your enabling and the child should not be raised in a drug environment. I'm so sorry for you all.
Your daughter has a drug addiction problem. And as long as this occurs, she cannot and will not ever be responsible enough to make higher choices. Her lashing out at you when you ask for repayment of money she needed to save her is a clear sign. They are barely getting by, one child is already in your custody and the other not far behind. If you don't take the child, the state will.
I have seen numerous situations where opiate additction slowly and steadily sucked the life and livelihood from people I know, and have known. (4 are dead, and two were teens. The other two were my ex and his new wife). All three of my sons dealt with it, and still the ugly monster will raise its head and haunt them. Had they had children, I'd have had to take them on to raise, along with caring for my elderly Mom, which is what this forum is all about.
With that said my friend, please see to it the children are safe and sound. Consider the debt a loss and NEVER EVER rescue them (your daughter and her husband) again. Not while this additction is going on. They will tell you they have stopped and they will swear on the Bible, on somebody's grave, whatever--that they are clean. No They will hate you, call you the nastiest, meanest hurtful things in the world, but if you don't let them hit the ground and wallow in their own filth awhile, they will not ever regain their wits about themselves. It takes a hard hit to set them straight. You have the care of one child and you just might have to get the other aay from them to save them too. Bring food and clothes for the child only.
I wish you and your family much healing and peaceful wellbeing.
I have a very similar situation , perhaps this can come under the title of " Elder abuse ".
Like you, because we have so much love & caring for our children it is extremely difficult to use & put into practice not helping.
And, when we have so many needs ourselves makes it even more difficult.
Best wishes for you.
Edmund Burke said all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. You are a good woman, do something to stop this.