My grandmother is 92 and she is living in a seniors apartment building . Her mind is in tact with no alzheimers or dementia . She has limited mobiity but can get to bathroom and in and out of bed . She has homecare to come in and cook her meals and shower etc as well as light housekeeping. The rest of the famiy has flat out said they will no longer help her by getting her groceries , taking her to appointments etc .I have been the only one doing this and I am the single parent without a vehicle. Should i be helping them trying to forcer her into a nursing home when she is still in her right mind and legally has the choice to make hersef
Can your GM afford a nursing home? Would she have to be on Medicaid? Is she on Medicaid now?
Is anyone besides you provided some help for her?
Sorry for so many questions, but there is no where you can look up a chart in a book and see that 92 = nursing home. Each case is unique.
Can you tell us some more about your GM, and why the family wants her to move to an NH? You are obviously a caring person to be asking this question, and I'd like to see you get some helpful answers.
My point is...it isn't unusual that family members don't agree. I think there are a variety of factors that enter into everyone forming their own opinion on any matter, including the care & attention of a family member. It may or may not be a surprise to you how your family is acting. But, now that you've seen how they can be, it should have become clear to you that you can not, should not count on them in the future to help you or your GM. Easier said than done, but don't lose sleep over it or bother yourself with anger. You can't change them. Don't waste your time or energy or thoughts trying. You can only control yourself and your actions. In addition, don't be surprised if your GM seems to lack awareness of them turning their backs on her. Don't expect her to pull her assets from your Uncle or stop saying glowing things about them. That may get under your skin, and understandably so, but shrug it off.
From what you've told us, I think you are doing the right thing with your GM. And I think, in your heart you believe you are doing the right thing. I commend you for your love, devotion and care towards her. I know it isn't easy, and it will eventually get harder. (That's probably why the others have bailed...they don't want to be consumed by it.) Just know, that you always have the option to make a different decision, concerning your involvement and help. Don't think that you're trapped. You can always re-evaluate...fine-tune things as you go along.
I wish you and your Grandmother...peace.