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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She just feels like sleeping but after long mornings she gradually gets better. 90 years old. waiting for doctor to call. her bp and oxygen is "normal".
Good heavens, she is 90, let her sleep if she wants, as long as she eventually gets out of bed. She's had a very long life, she tired.
Both my parents are in their 90's, they don't sleep late, in fact they are early birds, Mom has breakfast going by 6 a.m. every single day [they still live on their own]... but they do take a lot of long naps during the day as both take blood pressure pills which can zap the energy out of anyone.
If this is normal for her, or just a gradual increase in her sleeping over time, then let her be. You've checked there's nothing wrong, and it's not unusual for very elderly people not to be full of get up and go in the mornings (neither am I and I'm only 50!).
But even if it is a sudden and marked change, which might warrant more concern, you've already done the right thing in calling for advice. Hope all turns out to be well, please update.
My grandmother started doing that (sleeping long hours). She would sometimes stay in bed all day. Then days she would get up and only take a nap. Just check on her from time to time and make sure she is okay and if she needs anything. If this is not normal for her, then maybe her thyroid could be out of whack. Ask the doctor. Good luck.
Let her sleep. She's earned her rest. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Besides, her sleeping gives YOU time to unwind and have time out for yourself. Enjoy it and let mom enjoy sleeping. :)
I agree with the comments. Let her sleep, especially during winter when cold weather takes its toll even on younger and healthier people and most of us could benefit from more rest.
This occurs with us as well. On days when we have something planned that Dad really likes, he's up early, even waking me up because he's anxious and excited. On days when nothing is planned, he sleeps in.
I don't think a 9 hour rest for someone of your mother's age is unusual. But you might want to try something just as a test...plan something she really loves to do, but not early in the morning... maybe mid-morning or late morning and see if she gets up earlier.
Also make sure she's eating a good healthy diet with enough protein to give her energy. Diets without proper nutrition can make people tired and weak (just really stating the obvious here).
If not, i agree that this is a good time for you to devote to yourself.
FORCE..................Why use FORCE on a 90 year old woman....??? LORD let the woman languish...talk to her doctor...if she is alive and happy and NOT FALLING or TRIPPING over things in the house...she is SAFE and sound....!! If she was up tripping and breaking her bones you would be even more upset...LET HER REST...she has sure earned it..GOD BLESS YOU BOTH...
My 94-year-old Mom sleeps much of the time and has some bedsores because she does not turn herself for several hours. Since I am no longer with her full time, and she now lives out of state, I really do not know how long she lies on one side. I know that anyone who may be bedridden should be turned about every two or three hours daily.
At the assisted living/memory care where my mother-in-law lives, they let those poor old people sleep if they want to. My m-i-l is 90 this year, so I told them if she's not wanting to get up and be ready when I come and to get her, let her alone. I got all worried when she did that sleeping in thing for 3 or 4 days in a row, because that is NOT
She is tired.She is 90 years old.Let her sleep.Just keep turning her so bed sores don't set in.If she eventually gets up,then fine if not just keep changing her position.You don't want bed sores to set in.Good luck.
sorry, stupid computer... anyway I got all wigged out, but they said she does that sometimes. She'll have a whole week that she'll sleep till 11am or so but the next week she'll be back to 'normal'. So I say let her sleep in if she wants, and see what happens. Could be the new 'normal' for her, could be just a phase.
This is what works for me. When I see Mom in her bedroom all day either napping or watching TV, I go in there with my little chihuahua (they both LOVE each other) and keep her company, or get her tea, and maybe watch a few game shows with her. I also make her feel needed. "Will you come sit outside with me? I'm feeling a bit anxious and don't want to be alone." Mothers will always want to help if they feel needed. Let her know she is still needed. It makes a world of a difference.
Some nights I sleep more than others. My mother is the same way. My mother in law, who is 91, often doesn't get up until close to noon. She likes to stay up late watching tv. Whatever makes them happy. They don't have a schedule they have to be on, and they've earned the right to sleep as much as they want to.
It bothers my mom that sleeps so much - she thinks she shouldn't need so much sleep. She has sleep apnea, takes blood pressure medication, pain medication, statins, diuretics, anti-seizure medications, and then went to the doctor to get medication to keep her awake and wondered why she got dizzy. Don't worry about it. Sleep is ok.
My 90 year old mom goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:00 almost every night and I usually wake her by 9:30. On occasion she gets herself up. She always takes an afternoon nap as well. I find that by keeping her on somewhat of a routine she functions better. I too think as long as you are not seeing any health problems with your mom let her sleep:)
i agree with those that say don't force an elder to do anything. if this is unusual and new behavior, trust your instincts and be proactive with her doctor. has she started any new meds within the last few months? this could be a side effect. does she drink enough water? a good question for the doctor is what is a good amount of water for your mom specifically? is your mom eating normally? our family just went through this with my diabetic mom, 88, who started sleeping 13 hours a day and then got out of bed eventually to just sleep on the couch the rest of the day. she also lost her appetite. the doctor didn't react to our concerns. on the surface there wasnt anything wrong - all vitals ok, sugar ok - but apparently she was gradually dehydrating and her meds were becoming too strong. as a result, her sugar crashed to 41 and she wasnt responding. her electrolytes and potassium were very low, and once in the hospital her kidneys failed. she is ok now. i live in ny and my parents live in florida, so i was relying on my dad's observations and he was right - something was wrong. even the nurses in the ALF didnt notice or take our concerns seriously. this all took place over the course of a week and a half. for a nurse or doctor it is very easy to check if someone is becoming dehydrated - i would think this would be automatic with elderly patients. we are switching to a geriatrician for my mom' primary care - i believe the new doctor will have a better understanding of these types of concerns. anyway.... my advice - trust your instincts and be aggressive with doctors.
My mother, 94, often sleeps more than 12 hours per night, and never less than 9 or 10. I just consider it a blessing for us both. I get more time to myself and she gets peaceful rest. Win-win, no?
There's an opposite ramification as well to not allowing someone to sleep as much as needed. About 3 months before her death I spoke to my sister's oncologist about my concern that she was sleeping sometimes up to 20 hours a day.
Her oncologist decided to stop chemo because it was so devastating, and in her opinion wasn't going to change the outcome she had predicted about 5 months earlier.
As a result, the cancer metastasized at a more rapid rate.
I have wondered for years if I should have kept my mouth shut and not said anything. What I didn't realize or couldn't accept was that she was in end stage cancer, was extremely weak, and that the combination of meds she was taking were inducing more sleep. It took years before I could get past the fact that my comment to her oncologist might have hastened my sister's death.
Hi, This happened to me today as mum (92) slept till 2pm , only managed to give her some water and milk in between. Quite worried so checked her blood pressure and glucose, both ok so let her sleep. She woke up half an hour later and all is well. I guess it depends on how rested she was through the night so the key thing to do is to check for some vital indicators e.g. blood pressure / glucose ( in case it is hypo) if diabetic.. Take care and God Bless..
Wait until you are 90 and see whether you want someone to ' force' you out of bed.
I once had a 93 year old psychiatric patient who was only old, otherwise th eprfect gentleman.
I found a mean-spirited nursing assistant dragging him out of bed. I gave him a piece of my mind and ordered him to leave the old gentleman alone, and told him that if he wanted to stay in bed and miss breakfast he was free to make up his own mind.
On the other hand, if your Mum has to go to work, then by all means tip her out of bed and make her get dressed and go out the door to her employment.
Otherwise, leave her alone.
I expect that when I reach 90 I may want to see more of my bed than I do at present. But then,. I'm only 80.
My wife, 78, needs a lot more sleep than me and I make sure she gets what she needs.
That is part of my gift of love to her. I tell her she i not in the army, so ignore the bugler. Even our dogs are quiet when she is in bed.
Patathome 01.If your love one has bedsores that is a sign of neglect! This needs to brought to the attention of the house manager ASAP! There are water mattresses that can be used as well as air mattresses that inflate different sections at a time to eliminate pressure points. Bedsores are a reason that needs to be reported to the state. If they are guilty of not turning and repositioning her then who knows what else she is suffering through. Since you are out of state maybe you should look into finding an advocate like a social worker who can check on her. Please do something to help her!
I would think it's common for a 90 yr. old to sleep a lot. I'm 58 and I can sleep and nap a lot. I wish my ex; 90 yr. father would sleep. He demands to be entertained every waking hour.
I'm with Judith. Let her sleep. Invite her to get out of bed every few hours, but don't force her. Let her body do whatever is natural for her now. "Dreamland" is not necessarily a bad place to be.
Sometimes they are awake during the night and you dont know it. My mom is in bed 12 hours but sings and babbles a lot during the night. If its boredom tell her you need her to help you make cookies or fold laundry. They love to feel useful and they love compliments!
We don't know what it feels like to be 90 ,At that age let her do what she wants .She doesn,t need someone telling her when to sleep and when not to sleep especially near the end of life .
My dad is 86 and he is inclined to sleep a lot during the day. He does fidget at night though. I'm also concerned about bedsores, but he is not complaining since he does get up for the bathroom and my sister gets him to eating at the table. As long as she does move about eventually, to prevent bedsores,I would imagine she'd be ok.
My 93 year old mother just in the past year has started sleeping more than she used to, but nothing to raise any alarms. Just winding down and probably the dementia knocks some of the stuffing out as well. Mom doesn't have issues with bed sores, probably because she does turn in her sleep, but I'm glad that was mentioned here. Something to watch out for.
I know someone whose father in his early 90s sleeps 20 hours a day! I asked about what he does during the four hours he's awake. Gets a bite to eat and watches TV for a couple of hours, then back to bed. No unusual medical issues according to my friend, so he just lets Dad dream his remaining years away. (My own father passed in his sleep at age 89.)
In any case I hope all our fading elders have sweet dreams!
Thanks for all the different advice. A lot of people say she's 90, let her sleep, but when it I different behavior I get concerned. 90 year olds shouldn't take meds as strong as younger people. She had a bad reaction from pain pill for a sore shoulder and it took a few days to recover from it all. Also I found out that people over 80 need blood pressure to be higher. I check her bp now to report for possible deduction in bp med. When her bp is higher than "usual" she is a lot moe alert and awake longer, for a better night sleep. She's getting up better now
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Both my parents are in their 90's, they don't sleep late, in fact they are early birds, Mom has breakfast going by 6 a.m. every single day [they still live on their own]... but they do take a lot of long naps during the day as both take blood pressure pills which can zap the energy out of anyone.
But even if it is a sudden and marked change, which might warrant more concern, you've already done the right thing in calling for advice. Hope all turns out to be well, please update.
This occurs with us as well. On days when we have something planned that Dad really likes, he's up early, even waking me up because he's anxious and excited. On days when nothing is planned, he sleeps in.
I don't think a 9 hour rest for someone of your mother's age is unusual. But you might want to try something just as a test...plan something she really loves to do, but not early in the morning... maybe mid-morning or late morning and see if she gets up earlier.
Also make sure she's eating a good healthy diet with enough protein to give her energy. Diets without proper nutrition can make people tired and weak (just really stating the obvious here).
If not, i agree that this is a good time for you to devote to yourself.
It bothers my mom that sleeps so much - she thinks she shouldn't need so much sleep. She has sleep apnea, takes blood pressure medication, pain medication, statins, diuretics, anti-seizure medications, and then went to the doctor to get medication to keep her awake and wondered why she got dizzy. Don't worry about it. Sleep is ok.
The Dr will be able to tell you if there are any infections or any issues physically, also be aware of depression...but 9 hrs is nothing.
My mom has Alzheimer's Dementia and stays in bed 12-14 hrs a day...the Dr said it was fine and not abnormal at all...so I just leave her alone.
She gets up and paces going from the front door to the back deck all day anyway and is "always bored" :).
It sounds like your mother does not have dementia but I wouldn't worry at all about it.
:)
Her oncologist decided to stop chemo because it was so devastating, and in her opinion wasn't going to change the outcome she had predicted about 5 months earlier.
As a result, the cancer metastasized at a more rapid rate.
I have wondered for years if I should have kept my mouth shut and not said anything. What I didn't realize or couldn't accept was that she was in end stage cancer, was extremely weak, and that the combination of meds she was taking were inducing more sleep. It took years before I could get past the fact that my comment to her oncologist might have hastened my sister's death.
This happened to me today as mum (92) slept till 2pm , only managed to give her some water and milk in between. Quite worried so checked her blood pressure and glucose, both ok so let her sleep. She woke up half an hour later and all is well. I guess it depends on how rested she was through the night so the key thing to do is to check for some vital indicators e.g. blood pressure / glucose ( in case it is hypo) if diabetic.. Take care and God Bless..
force' you out of bed.
I once had a 93 year old psychiatric patient who was only old, otherwise th eprfect gentleman.
I found a mean-spirited nursing assistant dragging him out of bed. I gave him a piece of my mind and ordered him to leave the old gentleman alone, and told him that if he wanted to stay in bed and miss breakfast he was free to make up his own mind.
On the other hand, if your Mum has to go to work, then by all means tip her out of bed and make her get dressed and go out the door to her employment.
Otherwise, leave her alone.
I expect that when I reach 90 I may want to see more of my bed than I do at present. But then,. I'm only 80.
My wife, 78, needs a lot more sleep than me and I make sure she gets what she needs.
That is part of my gift of love to her. I tell her she i not in the army, so ignore the bugler. Even our dogs are quiet when she is in bed.
Good luck, and relax. :)
I know someone whose father in his early 90s sleeps 20 hours a day! I asked about what he does during the four hours he's awake. Gets a bite to eat and watches TV for a couple of hours, then back to bed. No unusual medical issues according to my friend, so he just lets Dad dream his remaining years away. (My own father passed in his sleep at age 89.)
In any case I hope all our fading elders have sweet dreams!