My Mother passed away two years ago and my Dad has never fully recovered. He now has classic signs of dementia and is not taking care of himself or his home. He had told my sister and myself at one time that when the day came he would not fight us, however, he is now arguing and fighting to stay in his home. He has a long term care policy and we have found the perfect place for him close to my sister. My sister has his POA and has handled his finances for over a year. With the POA, can we "force" him to move and would we need to get help from an attorney to do this?
If the parent voluntarily relinquishes their decision making to you, this isn't necessarily POA related. You don't need the POA if they say go ahead and take care of my bills, I've signed HIPPA and told dr to talk to you about my condition, etc....
You can't force parent to move somewhere or accept care and assistance legally. That was my experience.
I think everyone has to self examine their situation and long term prognosis for their loved one. I don't judge anyone here for their decisions. I admire those of you who make the tremendous sacrifice for caring for your loved ones full time in your home or theirs.
For many of us, we have full time jobs, family, live long distance or know ourselves well enough that we don't or won't have the skill set to manage our loved ones needs in the long run. Then there are those who have suffered emotional or physical abuse and don't want to recreate that unhealthy toxic environment.
If you think your parent is in danger or endangering others then talk with the dr or APS and ask for their help and options to get your parent cared for.
What I am afraid of is that of his safety and potential safety of others.
I'm happy to hear your situation worked out well for you.
It's not all one-size cookie cutter, though I hope you realize. I belong to 'our society' and I was not quick to shut away my mother. In fact I am in the process of moving her to an assisted living place closer to me right now. It IS difficult, to say the least. We tried home care after my dad died, she lived with us, and now we're moving her again.
Home care would've been around $90,000 a year with Visiting Angels 24/7. That was not viable.
Assisted Living is $60,000. I visit my mom every other day and take care of her needs. If I'm not with her, I'm washing and ironing her clothes, making special treats, doing it all.
I think it's pretty rare that one can afford in home caregivers. Maybe if they sacrifice their life to pretty much 24/7, potty breaks all night long, and just a couple of hours to grocery shop, get the oil changed in the car, or see a dentist.
Heck, my mom's in an AL, and it's been tough getting to my eye doctor with all the drama going on. Of course, the move looms large. LOL
Getting her to a doctor girls on Friday. She's going to be a PITA big time. Then the state of MN has a long process for me to go through at private pay. Ship High In Transit (SHIT) It originated in the Navy, so I hear. LOL
Ladee, big loves sent your way. No church here lately. Almost 100 every day. Salivated at your rain. Don't want to see the crappin' water bill. Not the same as rain from Heaven, and it sure feels like it when it actually happens.
SA, Geez. My heart goes out to you. You keep talking about DNA. I don't want to freak you out, but it sounds like Adult Onset schitzophrenia. I know I butchered the word badl
That happens in their age range, usually when it comes out. They may well have some issues with you. I worry about that in my own situation. My guy seems okay. I made sure he came first. No matter how crazy mom was, he came first. He was and is my priority.
Last days of summer are coming up. Not the carefree Labor Day I remember.
Hell, it never was, school started the next day!
Much love, patience, a strong stomach, finding a good place that allows you quality sleep. That is hard for me. My mom is not doing well aniticipating her new logistics as far as placing her hand on the vanity. It is different.
I just have to see her through this.
My back is killing me, but we'll get through.