My dad is 91 and on oxygen and is really frail. My mom is 92 and has dementia and relies totally on my dad. I found out they are not showering regularly and I've known for a long time that they don't eat properly. I've tried delivering groceries, etc etc but they refuse all and have "fired" any help that we've ever hired. How can I "force" them into assisted living?
If there is not DPOA, then it's sticky as you will need to get Guardianship or Conservatorship over them. As one who has been executrix twice and spent buckets of hours in probate court (where G/C stuff is heard), you need to get an G/C experienced attorney if you have to go that route. G/C isn't complicated per se but has a lot of sequential legal items that can be maddening for non attorneys.
Carol
Do all the research ahead of time so you can present some options with knowledge. Be sure you understand their financial situation so you know whether you can get them into a continuing care situation ( where they will get more care as they need it and not be kicked out). Good luck!