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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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bsmith, curious what you mean when you posted "Only since my mom’s recent death, did I even know that support even exists for caregivers.".... what type of support are you referencing?
As for your mother's home, do you feel you should have gotten the house 100% in exchange for all your care? Sadly, as you wrote your Mom never updated her Will to make that reference. There are no laws to turn that around. It's the parent's responsibility to make those changes.
I know you don't want to hear this, but your siblings probably were right that your Mom needed to have been placed in a continuing care facility, but I can understand why you wanted your Mom at home under your care... you made that choice to give up employment and your life for your Mom.
Believe me, there are many family caregivers who wished they had a time machine to go back in time and do things differently. It's all a learning process, lot of trial and error.
I never realized the difficult caregiver journey and sacrifice before me. Only since my mom’s recent death, did I even know that support even exists for caregivers. I foolishly never even knew enough to truly care for myself and myself became ill.
In 2006, my mom became very sickly due to prescription medication. At that moment, she wanted to update her 35 year old will and give me health care power of attorney. Instead I placed financial matters aside to focus 100 percent on her medical care, stupidest mistake of my life. The moment to update her will and give POA never came. She had a series of medical mishaps and we went on a LONG tiring emotional rollercoaster.
After 2007, she needed lots of assisted living. By 2011, she began requiring 24 7 care. It became difficult to earn a living except to work part-time from home. By 2012, it was drained on every level trying to provide assistance to her. I wanted my mom to remain home and my two siblings fought to have her in a facility. I had a health care proxy, but my siblings ignored it. I eventually won, but it was very taxing.
During these times, my siblings were way more of a burden than any actual assistance. They pretty much disregarded me and my role as sole caregiver as it wasn't in writing.
Anyhow my mom died, and immediately the executor stepped in to begin proceedings. They want to clear out the house and sell it immediately and divide the estate equally amongst us. They only see the home as an asset, I see it as a place to heal and mourn. I would like to stay here for a while to regain stability and get myself back together. The psychologist says I show signs of PTSD and it makes sense.
My giving full time care kept my mom from draining her assets and selling her home. And my siblings had no burdens and never had to sacrifice their very functional lives.
I imagine I have absolutely no rights as the role of caregiver isn't really recognized. But I am willing to listen to any suggestions or advice.
I was referencing the support and insightful messages found on places such as here. If I had only known to read these caregiver anecdotes six years ago, the outcome would be far different. Especially without power of attorney the road as caregiver becomes even tougher. For their very survival, every child should be taught finance and every caregiver should have access to very basic information regarding the law.
Just as a sidenote, my sisters did provide some support in the beginning, but ultimately were no longer able due to being married with children, working and living far away. My mom actually made a super recovery on a better diet and supplements, but went into a facility after my brief illness and subsequent operation as neither of my sisters could take my mom into their homes.
Anyhow, I have reached out to my sisters to attempt a buyout, one has agreed and wants to do whatever it takes and seems way more reluctant. More than ever, I realize how much the house means to me in trying to preserve my parent's legacy.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As for your mother's home, do you feel you should have gotten the house 100% in exchange for all your care? Sadly, as you wrote your Mom never updated her Will to make that reference. There are no laws to turn that around. It's the parent's responsibility to make those changes.
I know you don't want to hear this, but your siblings probably were right that your Mom needed to have been placed in a continuing care facility, but I can understand why you wanted your Mom at home under your care... you made that choice to give up employment and your life for your Mom.
Believe me, there are many family caregivers who wished they had a time machine to go back in time and do things differently. It's all a learning process, lot of trial and error.
In 2006, my mom became very sickly due to prescription medication. At that moment, she wanted to update her 35 year old will and give me health care power of attorney. Instead I placed financial matters aside to focus 100 percent on her medical care, stupidest mistake of my life. The moment to update her will and give POA never came. She had a series of medical mishaps and we went on a LONG tiring emotional rollercoaster.
After 2007, she needed lots of assisted living. By 2011, she began requiring 24 7 care. It became difficult to earn a living except to work part-time from home. By 2012, it was drained on every level trying to provide assistance to her. I wanted my mom to remain home and my two siblings fought to have her in a facility. I had a health care proxy, but my siblings ignored it. I eventually won, but it was very taxing.
During these times, my siblings were way more of a burden than any actual assistance. They pretty much disregarded me and my role as sole caregiver as it wasn't in writing.
Anyhow my mom died, and immediately the executor stepped in to begin proceedings. They want to clear out the house and sell it immediately and divide the estate equally amongst us. They only see the home as an asset, I see it as a place to heal and mourn. I would like to stay here for a while to regain stability and get myself back together. The psychologist says I show signs of PTSD and it makes sense.
My giving full time care kept my mom from draining her assets and selling her home. And my siblings had no burdens and never had to sacrifice their very functional lives.
I imagine I have absolutely no rights as the role of caregiver isn't really recognized. But I am willing to listen to any suggestions or advice.
Just as a sidenote, my sisters did provide some support in the beginning, but ultimately were no longer able due to being married with children, working and living far away. My mom actually made a super recovery on a better diet and supplements, but went into a facility after my brief illness and subsequent operation as neither of my sisters could take my mom into their homes.
Anyhow, I have reached out to my sisters to attempt a buyout, one has agreed and wants to do whatever it takes and seems way more reluctant. More than ever, I realize how much the house means to me in trying to preserve my parent's legacy.