I have a friend who I recently found out has lung cancer. She is not a very close friend, but a friend, nonetheless. She has been calling me and I have not returned the call, as I don't know how to handle this situation. I care very much but don't know if I should call and say "I heard" ... or what to do. I also am feeling very stressed out over my Mom and other things right now and do not know if I can handle this or how to. I do not want to call and then stop the whole thing because I cannot handle it, but I feel guilty for not calling.
What would you do?
Thanks.
Imagine if you had a serious disease and your friends would not return your calls. Lonely, right?
I can understand that you have your own stresses to handle. Your friend's cancer is not about you. Call her. Take your lead from her. If she wants to talk about her disease and her feelings, be a good listener. If she wants to reserve her heavy-duty emotional talks for family members and very close friends and only wants to have "ordinary" conversations with more casual friends, then stay within the topics she initiates.
Isolating her because you don't know what to say isn't good for either of you. Call her. Let her take the lead in the conversations.
Then I would send her a card to let her know she is in your thoughts..
Back when I had cancer I lost most of my friends because they didn't know what to say or they were scared they would say the wrong thing. I just needed someone to talk to. I wound up calling my ex-mother-in-law because she would always make me laugh and laugh, and she enjoyed the calls, too. We became the best of friends :)
JessieBelle, excellent post.... wish everyone would think that way. Guess some thought cancer was contagious, even though they knew it was impossible. Or they thought they would be next.
Sometimes the only thing we can do for each is say a prayer and listen.