Mom in skilled nursing facility- stepfather sold her home, all of her belongings, owns her car, dislikes her, rarely visits...can I gain guardianship to support her financial care in nursing facility-she would like a divorce, but I do not believe she is mentally competent
You state that "her" home was sold? Who signed the papers? So many questions jump out to ask...you really need an attorney....or at best some elder lawyer who can listen, sort out your requests and prioritize your mothers needs. Also make sure the attorney informs you of what could happen in guardianship cases.
If your Mom is mentally unable to make decisions that will be in her best interest and to clearly understand the ramifications of these decisions. Your best bet is to call Adult Protective Services. These professionals cannot only help you with you Mom. Legally they also have the ear of medical and legal entities in your geographic area.
It is important that you understand this is not a quick answer and it will be costly. While in her best interest the courts will want to want to preserve her wishes when she was able to think clearly and understand your interest in the situation. It is important that you look at the situation through the courts eyes. They are in the position to take away someone’s legal rights. This is not to be taken lightly so a lawyer will be appointed for your Mom to determine her best interest. You will need a lawyer to describe for the courts why you believe you are better suited to provide the decisions in her interest. If you have a good lawyer the situation will soon become clear to lawyer and you.
This is difficult for everyone involved and it is not taken lightly for the courts to intervene legally in the marriage of the person or the parent/child relationship. I wish you well and beware that this is one of the most difficult of decisions for the courts. If you have siblings it is very helpful to have all children be involved in the best interest of your Mom.
One thought you might want to find out when probate court is occurring in your district. Then take a day (these proceedings are open to the public) and go hear what is happening in these decisions. I can think of no other way to truly understand the gravity of your situation.
If the spouse assents (and there are no objections from your siblings if you have any) the way would be clear for the Court to consider your Petition for Guardianship.
If there are objections, you would have to decide whether to go forward with an adversarial proceeding.
The best way to start is with an elder law attorney in your state who could approach other family members with requests for agreement and assent, rather than controversy.