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My 93 yo mother with dementia likes to start her day anywhere from midnight on, waking me for her coffee, breakfast, etc fully dressed...this can happen once a night up to 4 times a night...we have a rule here not to come down till 8am so my husband can have a couple hrs without her sitting 5 feet from him all her waking hrs, changing the tv while he's watching, staring at him through her fingers, etc...when we tell her it's not 8am and go back to bed, she will say her watch is broken, (it's not and her watch displays the time with numbers, so easy to understand, no dial )or she can't remember what time she is suppose to come down even though there is a note on her door saying 8am...yet, she is able to come down at 8 every day though we have sent back to bed numerous times every night so she clearly seems to understand she is to come down at 8.. I think she is playing us and has more working brain cells than she cares to display

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No, she is not playing you. Getting up and down at night is something older people do, especially those who have dementia. My mother gets up often during the night. If asked, she said she had to use the bathroom, but that is only partially true. Sometimes she just gets up and sits, looking at nothing. Sometimes she does things like check her blood sugar or pressure. Other times she gets a snack. I'm glad that she doesn't do anything particularly harmful, since I am in bed. We can't teach them not to get up, so we have to do the adjusting.
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I don't think your mom is playing you. My mom has no short-term memory and is very up and down with her ability to remember things. Some days she's pretty good, other days she's totally unable to keep a thought in her head.

Your mom has dementia - you need to do more reading/watching Teepa Snow videos on Youtube about it. She can't help that her brain is broken. She doesn't have the capacity to play you. And why would she want to "play you" and get up at 4 AM if she was fully capable? That makes no sense to me.
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Get her some sleep meds from the doctor. No, she is not playing you.

Have you looked into facility care?
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Her dr does not approve of sleep meds..says she is more likely to fall in the middle of the night taking them...I am waiting for her Medicaid to come thru to place her in AL.....
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