The gerontologist tol mum (against my advice and wishes) that she had dementia. Yes he explained it in a really nice way but I know my Mum only too well - while it was memory loss she was happy now it is dementia she has gone into a depressive mode and the disease seems to be progressing really rapidly now and I dont know what to do to stop it. She cannot unhear his words and I am really cross he didnt listen to me. All she has heard is dementia and we have gone from her doing some things for herself to a constant focus on dying and an unwillingness to anything for herself save eat and drink. I ewven wipe her hands clean which she was easily able to do for herself. If I suggest she does it she says I am too shaky.
I am so frustrated but hoping you all can offer some advice. Her own doctor will not increase the antidepressants she is on
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dementia/basics/causes/con-20034399?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=abstract&utm_content=Dementia&utm_campaign=Knowledge-panel
My mom is 95 and has no short-term memory and her cognitive skills are definitely impacted. (I've never felt the need to get her diagnosed). I just tell her it's from the medications she's been on for her heart. She's very stable and doesn't seem to get worse, so dementia (if it's not Alzheimers) isn't the end of the world.
And even if it is Alzheimers, if you explain more about dementia to your mom, maybe it will give her some hope (even if it doesn't apply to her in the end). We all need hope! Good luck and please keep us posted.