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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My mother has dementia, and my sister and I take care of her. We are having a problem with her not taking a shower. We feel like we are arguing with a two-year old brat! What can we do, besides putting a clothespin on our nose?
People with dementia become afraid of water and therefor refusing to shower or take a bath can stem from the disease I was not aware of this until I started doing home health care years ago
my mom hasnt climbed in a shower in 30 years . stop imposing your self ritious ideals on her. i wouldnt lick you if you steam cleaned yourself you damn whale. quit screwin with mom..
When I tried to give my mother with dementia a shower she said the water hitting her skin agitated her. I have been sponge bathing her. She still resists but the job gets done.
My mother-in-law lives with us and has dementia. She refuses to take a shower because she thinks she already has had one. We have resorted to waking her up or wait until we hear her waking, get her and escort her to the shower. She doesn't argue, she undresses and takes the shower, supervised. We have designated two days a week for showers because we want it to be part of a routine for her. This has worked for us so far. Everyday is a challenge and everyday is a new adventure.
I don't know much about dementia, so I'm not sure if this is a side effect from the desease. I do know that my mom is 90 and afraid to stand in the tub. She feels as though she cannot stand long enough to take a shower. She's 90.
Before she had her stroke, I would give her a shower and she would keep saying: "hurry up, hurry up, I can't stand long". I would go as fast as I could but she was weak and really couldn't stand that long but she'd always feel a lot better after the shower.
Now we just give her sponge baths in her bed and I've tried to tell her that I am willing to get in the shower with her to give her a shower and hold her up while my sister washes her. But she flat out refuses now.
I guess I'm saying that they know what they can and cannot do. If she doesn't want to take a shower wash her up in the bed, vaseline her down so she doesn't get ashey, and then put some nice sachet' cream on her to make her smell nice. They like this also. Put some cocoa cream on her face to keep it moist, and some "Touch of Pink" on her feet to keep them from cracking, comb her hair, and then you've done your thing. She feels good, and so will you.
I agree with Nance's comment....I have found that things go much better when I don't "ask permission" of my Dad to do something. I tell him as little as possible ahead of time, because then he just thinks about it and finds reasons he doesn't want to do it ( whatever it is). So now I wait until the time has arrived, and then I tell Dad we're going to do such and such. My mother was stubborn also ( she passed away), and I found with her that I got better results when I treaded lightly, and tried to allow her to feel somehow that the decision had been hers. This is not always easy, but worth a try. Bringing in third parties to put more gently pressure on the elder to do something helps also. There is strength in numbers. Having a doctor tell an elder he/she needs to do something is helpful.
My Mom use to hate taking a shower. I found that instead of asking-I would just anounce, come on ,it's bath time, she would complain a bit but did get in, and then say how good it felt. With Mom, I quit asking and did more telling.
I know she has dementia, but it might be worth asking her why she doesn't want to take a shower. She might fight you at first or give you the "I just don't want to" answer, but if you keep at it and keep changing the way you ask it you might find she has a real reason, and maybe it's something you can change to make her feel more comfortable. Good luck.
Make sure the bathroom is really warm maybe use some bubble bath make sure she can sit and make sure the floor is not sliperey and maybe one day do a bedbath or use a sitz bath in the toilet the warm water probably would feel good.
my father doesnt like showers anymore , he has dementia too . when he sits on the toliet i fill up the sink full of very warm water and wash him top to bottom . then pat him dry and put some baby powder on him , it helps and makes him feel fresh too . it is the only way he accepts that than the shower . good luck ...
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Before she had her stroke, I would give her a shower and she would keep saying: "hurry up, hurry up, I can't stand long". I would go as fast as I could but she was weak and really couldn't stand that long but she'd always feel a lot better after the shower.
Now we just give her sponge baths in her bed and I've tried to tell her that I am willing to get in the shower with her to give her a shower and hold her up while my sister washes her. But she flat out refuses now.
I guess I'm saying that they know what they can and cannot do. If she doesn't want to take a shower wash her up in the bed, vaseline her down so she doesn't get ashey, and then put some nice sachet' cream on her to make her smell nice. They like this also. Put some cocoa cream on her face to keep it moist, and some "Touch of Pink" on her feet to keep them from cracking, comb her hair, and then you've done your thing. She feels good, and so will you.
And then you won't need that closepin :)
I found that instead of asking-I would just anounce, come on ,it's bath time, she would complain a bit but did get in, and then say how good it felt.
With Mom, I quit asking and did more telling.
it is the only way he accepts that than the shower . good luck ...