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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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How old is your dad? Sometimes seniors who have multiple health problems, hearing or vision problems and mental decline, just aren't into social activities and travel, especially if they are in their 90's or older. My mom is in her 70's and she's really cut back from her former schedule.
First, I might determine if there is some medical reason that he's not seeming chipper. Is his depression medication working for him? Have the strokes caused brain damage/dementia. Maybe, his meds needs adjusting or a new med. Is his Type II diabetes under control? If his blood sugar is too low or high, it can make him feel terrible. Does he have a working hearing aid? If he can't communicate, he may feel isolated. Does he have access to senior center, church, community events, shopping?
Assuming the above things are not the problem, then you might consider if he has any age related mental decline. How's the memory or mood?
There is no way to make another person feel a certain way. You can provide them with safety, security and love, but if he wants to rest at this point of his life, it's his decision. Being old and in ill health is a real challenge. I can see why it's not likely to inspire an upbeat attitude.
My 98 1/2 yo dad deals with a lot of pain from arthritis in his neck, hands, knees. Pain is exhausting. He still plays computer solitaire & does research, but forces himself to eat. He used to LOVE to go to buffets, etc. & to eat in general. Even that pleasure subsided.
Facing increasing physical limitations is difficult for many, whatever the cause. The loss of independence & increasing need to depend on others are also difficult adjustments to make.
I try to joke with my dad, even about our aches & pains. He counts the painful joints each day. Having them all "present & accounted for", joking about the competition to get his attention, and just commiserating sometimes offsets the seriousness for a brief time. I have moderate RA which affects my hands & wrists, so helping him with his personal care is a bit of a challenge, but I manage the best I can. I can relate to his challenges with hands, and sometimes talk about my mom's hands after years with RA.
Sometimes empathizing helps, but nothing takes away the frustration and concern. I try to recall the days of my mom's stroke - and pray for strength to help my dad through whatever comes.
I'm sorry for the adjustments you're both going through. Facing our fragility and mortality isn't easy. I wish you both well through these tough times.
When my 90 year old Dad left this earth last December, my then 90 year old Mom stopped eating, couldn't sleep, lost all interest in life. I just kept on loving her, taking care of her, reading to her, praying with her, and she gradually came out of the depression.
Now having friends over helps her to want to live again, and being with grandchildren gives her a real boost. Going out for a meal gives her great pleasure. I watch videos with her and we like movies with happy endings. I talk to her a lot and answer her questions. I must tell you all these positives follow many negatives and much much prayer. When her time comes, I will have no regrets.
Try switching antidepressants. Getting the right one to unlock the chemical imbalance for depression takes lots of trial and error. If he is not responding, talk with his doctor about a change. Keep his weight and diabetes under control and know he will not be the same person he once was.
My MIL was in rehab after a UTI. She was told she would have to make a decision which of her 3 sons she was going to live with because she couldn't live alone. Since she got worse in rehab she was being transferred to a rehab near the closest son, MIL didn't get along with that DIL. While waiting for the transfer to another state MIL continued to get worse. Depression meds did not help. Doctor was called to reevaluate her and found she didn't have the will to live. She passed the day before she was to be transferred.
When my Dad reached this stage I spent as much time with him as possible. He Was not able to go places so tried to make his home environment pleasant with Fresh flowers from home gardens or wildflowers roadside. Usually art, flowers, and music of the patient's preference works wonders. There is a book by Ruell Howe, "Live All Your Life" that can work real magic and helpful changing thought Processes?..probably out of print but try Amazon or EbAy Or the library Interloan service, available for anything in print plus free. This book Is worth the effort it takes to find!
TLC is the secret ingredient in all the ADLs & reminding those around my frail 92 yr old mom with late stage vd to please simply use eye contact, lovingly....
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
First, I might determine if there is some medical reason that he's not seeming chipper. Is his depression medication working for him? Have the strokes caused brain damage/dementia. Maybe, his meds needs adjusting or a new med. Is his Type II diabetes under control? If his blood sugar is too low or high, it can make him feel terrible. Does he have a working hearing aid? If he can't communicate, he may feel isolated. Does he have access to senior center, church, community events, shopping?
Assuming the above things are not the problem, then you might consider if he has any age related mental decline. How's the memory or mood?
There is no way to make another person feel a certain way. You can provide them with safety, security and love, but if he wants to rest at this point of his life, it's his decision. Being old and in ill health is a real challenge. I can see why it's not likely to inspire an upbeat attitude.
Facing increasing physical limitations is difficult for many, whatever the cause. The loss of independence & increasing need to depend on others are also difficult adjustments to make.
I try to joke with my dad, even about our aches & pains. He counts the painful joints each day. Having them all "present & accounted for", joking about the competition to get his attention, and just commiserating sometimes offsets the seriousness for a brief time. I have moderate RA which affects my hands & wrists, so helping him with his personal care is a bit of a challenge, but I manage the best I can. I can relate to his challenges with hands, and sometimes talk about my mom's hands after years with RA.
Sometimes empathizing helps, but nothing takes away the frustration and concern. I try to recall the days of my mom's stroke - and pray for strength to help my dad through whatever comes.
I'm sorry for the adjustments you're both going through. Facing our fragility and mortality isn't easy. I wish you both well through these tough times.
Now having friends over helps her to want to live again, and being with grandchildren gives her a real boost. Going out for a meal gives her great pleasure. I watch videos with her and we like movies with happy endings. I talk to her a lot and answer her questions. I must tell you all these positives follow many negatives and much much prayer. When her time comes, I will have no regrets.
Was not able to go places so tried to make his home environment pleasant with
Fresh flowers from home gardens or wildflowers roadside. Usually art, flowers, and music of the patient's preference works wonders. There is a book by Ruell
Howe, "Live All Your Life" that can work real magic and helpful changing thought
Processes?..probably out of print but try Amazon or EbAy
Or the library Interloan service, available for anything in print plus free. This book
Is worth the effort it takes to find!