After a series of increasingly bad falls-the last one against the piano split his head open--I quit my contract consulting business in another state, sold my home and moved in with him. We're supposedly clearing clutter,downsizing, preparing his home to sell or rent out, and combine households. He's still capable and not yet ready for 'assisted living' (he has LTC insurance for that) but has trouble cooking, cleaning. He's now attached to my hip! His home is small which is why we're looking for something where we each have our own space, but he sits in his bedroom until I'm out of the shower and then continues whatever conversation we were having!! If I'm in my bedroom doing anything, because there's nowhere else to be other than the living room, he follows me to his bedroom so he can be close. If I close my bedroom door, he talks to me through the door (he talks constantly) and he still knocks and asks to come in! When I leave, he has mild separation anxiety! I can't combine households if this is going to be my life! I've suggested retirement communities before I moved here (7 months ago) HIs comment was I'm not ready for that or I can't afford that. He can afford it and it's just a retirement community, not assisted living, not a nursing home, not a continuing care community. Just a huge 2-floor complex with lots of senior citizens. I'm tempted to just take him there for the free lunch they've offered without telling him. Just tell him I'm taking him to lunch! He needs people, to talk to, to do things with. It's not me. I'm only 54 and still need to and want to work. My mom's been gone 2 years now. What to do?
Definitely take him to lunch at the retirement community - start conversations and make sure he participates, ease him into social situations and he'll become more comfortable.
Is there a senior center in the area or adjacent communities? Contact them and get their brochures or flyers on activities they sponsor, and try to get him to go with you to a few. Does he enjoy reading? Contact local libraries and see if they have book clubs.
Is he a churchgoer? If so, contact heads of the various church groups and ask if there are ways in which he can participate.
If he makes friends and finds others with whom he shares interests, he'll become less clingy. But you may find yourself doing more chauffeuring.
It's only been a few years since your mother passed; he's probably still missing the companionship to which he became accustomed.
Are there any families in your area that have children or dogs? These can be conversation starters for older folks.