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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I pray that as I age I will get in the walk-in shower (at that point, I'll need to have modified my bath tub). I don't want to give my only daughter a hard time! And if I do, I hope she tells me "You stink, mom!!"
I have to tease Dad into taking a shower, changing underwear and shaving. I try to keep it light and he wants to live up to my expectations. I know it is harder to do those things at 90.
Hello, Jayjojo ~ i'm so sorry you're encountering this. My dear Mum didn't want to shower either. Is there something about Alzheimer's or Dementia that makes a person afraid of water? Mum took to sponge baths much better. i was fortunate that Medicare permitted a home nurse once a week to bathe her. Before that, she'd get so very angry - she threw me against the door and the force broke a 1/2" thick door mirror. She hated water hitting her on the head, in her face - and was not able to reposition herself. Like a turn in the road, i didn't know what path we were on at the time, or i'd have used the body wash items available in the store before we had professional help. i had a bath chair in the tub, and a pivoting padded shower stool in her shower. There's also a shower wand and grab bars -- but she couldn't raise her arm up and got weaker, ultimately losing the ability to stand -- i needed to help her. It was my honor to help - i didn't understand the anger though. For months. Then it dawned on me that she was afraid of water -- or perhaps the force of the spray played havoc with the peripheral nerves and hit like needles. She was pleasant, brave, cooperative when getting a sponge bath -- even while getting her hair washed in bed. Mum had vascular dementia. Oh i miss her so very much. Can you please see if a home aid / bath aid is available to come to your home? They'll evaluate how to best accomplish the task. It's so very important to keep clean - to prevent UTIs, bedsores, and eradicate the bacteria that can seeming cause the skin to become paper thin - almost overnight. God bless you ~ let us know how you're doing please.
Sometimes we have to resort to "extreme" means. Before I answer this, years ago my husband was very ill and refused to go to a doctor. Nothing worked. Finally I said I have two proposals and he could choose which one he wanted. (l) He could go peacefully to the doctor with me; (2) I would have him escorted and told him I hired two men to forcibly restrain him and get him to the doctor. After the shoc wore off, he decided to go with me. He had a deadly cancer and was dead in five months. So, in this case, threaten him to hire two men who will force him into the shower and wash him. And be prepared to do it. I bet he will start taking showers daily. Good luck. And tell him if he doesn't get washed, he can sleep in the garage - and be prepared to force the issue. Do NOT give in to him - that is just disgusting not to be washed.
Getting upset about something like this is a very good opportunity to use that energy to force the issue. He probably smells pretty bad by now, specifically in the areas that normally cause odor. If the person happens to be a heavy sweater and it happens to dry, this actually causes body odor much more easily even if you just cleaned up. For instance, a person with hyperhidrosis can't go very long without a shower. I don't know if the patient is a very heavy sweater, but if they are then forcing the issue of showering needs to be expedited and enforced before it becomes a health hazard. Bacteria building up on the person's body becomes a health hazard to them, and it'll become a health hazard to others at some point. It was quite a while before I connected the dots about my foster dad because he never showered either. Over a long span of time I thought he just had smokers cough long after he already quit smoking, but little did I know it was dehydration and pneumonia with the contributing factor of the bacteria building up from not bathing
When my mom was still able to walk and get to the shower, I told her aides to tell her I was picking her up in a couple of hours to take her out for ice cream, so she needed to be all cleaned up and pretty for me. That usually worked! (her favorite person plus her favorite food)
I have the same problem with my husband. He has Alzheimer's and my goal is to get him in the shower once a week. He is very unsteady on his feet and this maybe his reason for his adversion to showering. His excuse is that he doesn't do anything and isn't dirty. It usually takes about an hour of encouraging for a 10 minute shower. However. What really works is that I invite him to shower with me, that way I can scrub his back and make sure he washes completely. I think the security of me in the shower makes him less apprehensive. I have also found that suggesting a shower when he is in the bathroom doing other things is a good introduction to the idea.
JayJoJo freqflyer is spot on, You need to get a Bath Aid in to shower and wash Your Husband. Preferably a Lady Who is a bit of a Character, so while Your Husband is Laughing it will take His mind off of having a shower. My Mother refused to take a shower, so I got a Retired Nurse in to bathe Mom and to access Her needs etc. The first couple of days Mom said no, but after that She looked forward to showering. JayJoJo You could plan an hour out with a Friend for a coffee and a chat when the Bath Aid Lady calls.
Sometimes one has to hire a "bath aid" to come in to give showers/baths to those who refuse to take one.
My Dad use to make excuses not to take a shower, and after awhile his caregiver decided enough was enough. She put her hands on her hips and said "Mr. Bob, I raised a houseful of boys, there isn't anything I haven't seen". That got Dad laughing, and into the shower he went. Eventually he got over his shyness and started to enjoy having his back scrubbed :)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It usually takes about an hour of encouraging for a 10 minute shower. However. What really works is that I invite him to shower with me, that way I can scrub his back and make sure he washes completely. I think the security of me in the shower makes him less apprehensive.
I have also found that suggesting a shower when he is in the bathroom doing other things is a good introduction to the idea.
My Dad use to make excuses not to take a shower, and after awhile his caregiver decided enough was enough. She put her hands on her hips and said "Mr. Bob, I raised a houseful of boys, there isn't anything I haven't seen". That got Dad laughing, and into the shower he went. Eventually he got over his shyness and started to enjoy having his back scrubbed :)