I get $800 a month from SSDI. My fiance gets $1,450 from SSDI. We both get California State Medi-cal, also. We do not qualify for Cal-Fresh Food Help (SNAP). We also pay $50 each for prescription help a month. If we get married we lose our Medi-Cal and we have to pay $140 each for Medicare Part B. I don't see how we will make it with rent, bills, gas, insurance and food. Rent is so high here. I will eventually need a lung transplant, so I have to have both parts of Medicare and prescription plan. The lung transplant is a few years away. We are both in our 50s. What should we do?
What are the advantages of being married? If you just share your apartment or house would medical treat you as separate individual?
Candigrl, I feel for you. I was angry for a long time knowing that if we weren't married my husband would have more benefits. It sucks. But it is what it is. My anger didn't change anything. So vent, get the anger out of your system, and get on with a plan for your future.
Do either of you have a case worker for your disability coverage. Or access to a social worker? I'd discuss this with a professional that understands the system.
The marriage commitment is between the two of you, and even God, if that is your beliefs, but there shouldn't be any reason you've got to give up your livelihood and insurance benifits, and there should be a way that you could legally change your name, if you so desire, and and you can also legally combine any assets, co-mingle money, make each other your legal representatives, and Will each other anything you like when the other person passes away.
I understand that the "legally binding marriage certificate" truly does means so much to some people, but to some folks, it's just a piece of paper, and to the others, it's only worth the piece of paper it's written on.
Clearly in your situation, you "Want to be married" And so it isn't about "the money", so Rejoice in what you mean to each other, and don't worry so much about how the system and other people dictate your life.
Sometimes you just can't get around these things, but you can try getting the most joy out of life that you can. Good Luck and Enjoy your Wedded Bliss!