My mother entered nursing home six months ago. She was in a dramatically altered mental state that I now believe was delirium. After she was there for a month, in a Gerry chair in the hallway yelling, it occurred to me that she may have an infection. I called the nursing home and asked that they do a urinalysis, which they did and found an infection. Within a week, she was back to herself again--talking normally and very lucid. I then realized that in the past two years, she has had three episodes like this with all three of them occuring while she had some kind of infection. I believe she does not have dementia because she is not showing symptoms of it and would certainly after two years with the illness. Since then she has improved with physical therapy (which I had to push hard to get them to do). She is no longer in a diaper, is getting around in a wheelchair and doing some walking. We are totally able to care for her at home and have also installed a ramp in the front of our house to aide in caring for her. I tried to sign her out a few weeks ago AMA and they said that she was "mentally incompetent" and unable to do so and that they would call the police on me if I tried to remove her. The way this nursing home operates, I had to push for the urinalysis, I had to push them to do physical therapy with her, I had to push them to give her something for depression because she was crying most of the time (she was in a depression but they didn't seem to have any intentions of doing anything about it) and now that she is doing very well partly due to my involvement they are saying how great she is doing but they still won't let her leave. I know that if I hadn't called them about the infection, she would still be in a Gerry chair babbling even now. They have labelled her with "dementia" or specifically her diagnosis is "mild cognitive impairment". I believe that their reason for keeping her there is because it is a facility that primarily cares for people who are on Medicare or Medicaid and they need to have a percentage of people there that they can collect their SS funds and have steady, dependable income to keep themselves in the black. Diagnosing her with dementia makes it possible to have total control over her. I feel like they have taken possession of her and she now has no rights. What do I need to do to get her out of there? I am working on getting Power of Attorney through legal aid but is that enough. Do I have to have legal guardianship because legal aid says they don't do that and I cannot afford a regular attorney. Is the phony diagnosis going to make it impossible for me to get the Power of Attorney? If the attorney went in there and talked to her, they would easily be able to tell that she has all her mental faculties. Please any info would help.
So- ask the NH who is her legal guardian. IF they don't have anyone or any government entity they can PROVE and mom is seemingly if sound mind- call the police, ask for a stand by because the facility is keeping mom against her will. The BURDEN OF PROOF FALLS ON THE NH- AND EVEN A DOCTOR CANNOT STOP HER FROM LEAVING.
They have to go to court. That is another question for when the time comes.
If you choose to call the police, KEEP IT SIMPLE. TOO MUCH INFO confuses-
"Mom is being held against her will- I'm going to get her and I need an escort. I've already checked- no one has legal guardianship over her and she wants to go home".
I have been signing forms whenever they give them to me. I don't want to make things difficult because I worry that if I make a problem or behave in a difficult manner, they may go and file for legal guardianship and if they do, my mom would be screwed. It would be like she has no rights at all if they did that. So I make sure I read thoroughly whatever they need me to sign to make sure I'm not signing over anything like a legal guardianship. I'm assuming that since they are still having me sign for things that they must not have filed for legal guardianship because they wouldn't need my signature (I assume) if they had it.
Also be careful of signing anything for your mother. If signing your name you could be held financially responsible. Many attorneys have staff that will do home/facility appointments to prepare POA's if appropriate. Has a guardian been appointed by the courts, only the courts can do it. And if you were not notified it was done as an emergency, as by law it is required to notify children and spouses. Is Mom married?
Continuing care facilities take care of dozens and dozens of people at all different stages of memory and health issues, thus they are familiar with such cases.... we, on the other hand, are only dealing with one or two people. We see the health decline for the first time... the continuing care facility sees it on a regular basis and know what to do immediately.
As for the nursing home wanting to keep a patient there to get more money, not of these places have a waiting list. If your Mom leaves, the next day that bed would have another patient.
A nursing home isn't a prison, and they can't hold her there against her wishes unless someone with legal authority to make her decisions says she must stay there. So knowing who that is should be the next item you investigate.
Did you place her in the nursing home (when she was delirious)? If not, who did? That might be starting point.
Please update us with what you find out. We care!
I'm sorry about your friend but I am not her. I know what is needed in taking care of my mother at home. I know how much time, focus and energy it requires and am able and willing to do it. I would not be doing it alone. My brother who lives with us would also be involved in caring for her. There is always someone home 24 hours a day. In addition, when she is brought home (depending on the circumstances of her discharge) she would have a temporary at-home nurse coming, a physical therapist and aides who would assist in such things as helping her bathe (although I have done that as well and would continue to). The Office on Aging in my county provides certain services to the elderly free of charge which I would take advantage. I could also use her SS check to hire more help if needed. I am not going into this in ignorance of what is required. Thank you for your input anyway.
Please understand that at even a moderate level of dementia, moving her out of there will be totally confusing and upsetting. After two years, this is her home. Taking her out of there will only trigger anxiety and more crying. Talk to people who have done what you want to do. Most regret it.
Look at posts by BoniChak. She cared for her mom until it drove her to a heart attack. After a few months of recovery, she took her mom back home. It only lasted a week due to her mom's dementia.