My mom had a complete knee replacement on 6/17/2014 she has been home since 6/23/2014. She will not do her PT exercises she will not do simple things like get herself a glass of water. She constantly complains that no one helps her as an example she says I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast which I made for her. She only notices the thing that she thinks should have been done. I have Lupus and I am doing everything I can for her but it seems it's never enough. She lies to her doctors and tells them she is doing her PT and is doing more for herself. I am trying to stop doing the things for her that I know she can do for herself this either enrages her or she will sit and cry that no one wants to help her. I have two sisters that also live at home and they refuse to help at all. They take off during the day and go to movies and out to lunch and shopping and I am left to deal with this myself. If someone has some advice I would love some input. I love my mom very much and want her to get better but unless I can find a way to motivate her to help herself I don't know what else to do!
We have a lady in our church who had a knee replacement about the same time your mom did. She is 86 and walking with a cane and has been released by her PT to resume driving.
If mom gets "enraged", let her. If she cried, hand her a Kleenex. You have to love her enough to let her hate you, if that's what it takes to get her motivated. If she truly can't, it's time to make other arrangements. Talk to your sisters. Form a plan of action and get moving. You can do this.
God Bless,
Piewacket PS my mom is only 71
The part that I hate is that he was, by all doctor's opinion, going to be sent to a rehab that would provide much more comprehensive PT and care than he would get at home with us.
This otherwise sweet and wonderful man turned into a raging fanatic, threatening all sorts of stuff, wanting to get dressed and walk home and all of that.
He wanted to come back to his house and sit in his favorite chair and watch TV and relax. He wanted to pretend it was not as bad as it was, wanted to wish it away, I guess. I can't blame him.
Secretly, I KNEW he needed the PT and would have loved just a few days of respite despite not under the terms it would have happened under.
So, what happened? He came home with us because of his degree of upset, it was on us to follow up and make sure he had a PT (who came maybe three times? WOW.)
Every glass of water, all the meals, everything came under our responsibility for the next two plus months and it really took every last bit of energy.
DO NOT ASSUME that an elderly person will cave and go get their own water.
While my FIL had no problem walking in to get ice cream drumstick after drumstick, he would NOT go to the sink and get water or any other drink.
So much so that he damaged his kidneys because of it.
Don't assume they will get up and do it. Make darn sure they will before you get into that particular battle of wills because some people can be amazingly stubborn to their own demise.
Best of luck! Mine is finally more like himself. But, yes, that long, seemingly endless period was just a total nightmare. I hated my life so much.
Keep us posted. (((((HUGS)))))