Mom is in AL with mild dementia. She refuses to allow staff to help wash her hair while in the shower and says she prefers to do it herself in her tiny kitchenette sink. However, since it is becoming more difficult for her to do, she is putting it off longer. I have told her so many times, please let them help you in the shower Mom..you can put a washcloth or small towel over your face (she hates thought of water over face). I have asked different staff members to make this happen but nothing. Mom complains all the time that her hair looks bad and asks me to get her into the salon more often. Why would I pay extra for salon washing when she could have them help her in her own shower?
Any tips?? By the way, this discussion has gone on a hundred times since she moved there last year!! Aarrrgghhh!!!! 😝😄
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You said, "Why would I pay extra for salon washing when she could have them help her in her own shower?" This sounds like a logic issue, not necessarily an economy issue. It is not logical to pay for something you can get free.
And the majority of answers said, in effect, don't worry that it isn't logical. Just do it.
If in the original post you had said instead, "She goes to the in-house salon every six weeks, but that is all she can afford," I think you would have gotten a whole different set of answers. Mine would have been different, I know that.
I hope the visor thing helps a lot. That was a good, practical answer.
Keep posting here. Give us another chance.
My mom is the same- not even in her youth would she wash her hair in the shower but in the kitchen sink
She yells and scratches when staff wash it in the shower now and I've helped them so they know how to keep her eyes covered and not soak her ears
Before that I would just take a wet washcloth and clean her scalp as best as I could
It isn't easy and there's no criticism
I bought one of those wheelchair plastic capes which looks like a funnel but it was more nuisance than it was worth
Personally, I made THIS assumption: PEOPLE IN OUR SAME SHOES SHOULD BE COMPASSIONATE TO ONE ANOTHER.
Instead, I find that most jump to conclusions and spout off their first thought without considering how it sounds to the OP. Throughout this discussion, I have been *warned about bugs*. told how to wash mom's hair *myself* despite repeating myself that I am not physically able to do so, and then told in an undeniable way that granting this luxury to my mom is the proper thing to do out of love and duty.
I get enough of this kind of crap from others who have never been a caregiver... I didn't think I would have to hear it HERE.
HOLY CRAP PEOPLE! Do you think I am the world's worst daughter...if only you KNEW the whole story!!!!!!!!
Jeanne Gibbs, wow. Just wow.
"Because you love your mother and this is a small indulgence that she wants? "
REALLY????????????
I wonder why I come here for encouragement. It appears *SOME* can vent and get the advice & encouraging words they need.. But some cannot. How exactly do i pay the "registration fee"???? 😡😡😡😡
Because you love your mother and this is a small indulgence that she wants?
Can she afford it? Would it really be you that is paying for it?
My mom had her hair done every week for the two-and-a-half years she lived in the nursing home. She also had it dyed and permed every few months. On gift occasions her family gave her certificates to the salon. This was one of the things that made nursing home living pleasant for her. She didn't even need to put on a winter coat and hat and gloves and boots and get into a car! The salon lady came to her room and wheeled her in her chair.
The answer to "why?" doesn't have to depend on logic.
Today I ordered the face shield that was suggested earlier by a helpful person here. We will try that.
I caregive both my folks at home, and for many reasons they both are unable to wash their hair. (Rarely my mom will do hers in a sink but physical limitations are making it quite difficult.) Last month I purchased an inflatable shampoo basin, so now once a week before I get them out of their beds in the morning, I set up the basin in each bed (and drain bucket beside each bed), and as they lay there, they get a "real" hair cleaning with warm "running" (from a pitcher) water. I make it like a little spa time.
Another thought is, have you ever thought of getting one of those types of special chairs with the special sink installed in her home if she happens to own it? You can also invest in one of those portable hood dryers, you can get them for in-home use and some of the ones I saw don't have chairs attached to them. Some of them are standalone hood dryers and you can take them to any location and the person can just sit on any seat. These are usually around $300 from the last time I looked online to see what they run. I have a hood dryer that used to belong on the back of the special chair but it was screwed to a portable frame. It was obviously in a salon at one time, but when my friend went to clean out a building, it showed up at his house and it was gifted to me and I still have it and like it very much. My trusty hood dryer even has an extra socket to plug something in if I need to use that socket. Something like a curling iron or straightener usually goes in the extra socket, but I don't use either of those items on my hair. This over processes hair and dries it out to the point it breaks off after causing split ends so I don't use those items. It's simple, high heat damages hair, and I won't even set my hood dryer to a hot setting. What I like is setting the timer and being able to fully adjust the temperature, allowing me to use the cooler settings. Yes, I highly recommend hood dryers, every home needs one! Hood dryers are wonderful, and they always do a very good job. Anytime I use mine, I always notice there's a difference in my hair because I always notice that my hair looks and feels like I just came from a salon. I only wish I had that special chair with the special sink used in salons, there's always been something special about them, and I would highly recommend this idea for your mom.
Every woman likes to be treated special, and this is what I thought of immediately as you were describing the situation. This was an unmistakable solution that instantly came to mind and maybe this would be something your mom would look forward to. Every woman likes to have her hair done and what better of an idea than to give her salon treatment? I'm sure she would absolutely love this if it was properly presented to her in the right manner. I would definitely try this approach because every woman values her hair by nature
Fivets, I love that idea!!! Thank you!!!
Some days it is just too much effort for them when they age, so I am learning how to work around that.