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Mom is in AL with mild dementia. She refuses to allow staff to help wash her hair while in the shower and says she prefers to do it herself in her tiny kitchenette sink. However, since it is becoming more difficult for her to do, she is putting it off longer. I have told her so many times, please let them help you in the shower Mom..you can put a washcloth or small towel over your face (she hates thought of water over face). I have asked different staff members to make this happen but nothing. Mom complains all the time that her hair looks bad and asks me to get her into the salon more often. Why would I pay extra for salon washing when she could have them help her in her own shower?
Any tips?? By the way, this discussion has gone on a hundred times since she moved there last year!! Aarrrgghhh!!!! 😝😄

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Is the salon expensive and can she afford the extra little indulgence? My mom was like yours, she always hated showers and preferred a bath because she couldn't stand water raining down over her head and face. For as long as I can remember it was her little treat to herself to get a weekly wash and set, if your mom is willing and able it is probably the easiest solution to your mom's hair problems.
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My mom is simply horrified that the water will run in her eyes (has gulcoma) and in her ears. Wanted me and my sisters to wash her hair in the sink. So I bought a shampoo visor for a child from "Baby's are Us". It works perfect and she's no longer agitated about her shower and washing her hair because she knows water will not run in her eyes or ears!!! Talk to the care facility and ask if they would use it if you bring one in. It might work who knows. Maybe you could be with her the first time they use it just for support for your mom:)
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I'd give up on trying to convince her. If it's not working, I wouldn't continue talking about it. Let it go. Trained staff at my LO's Memory Care unit do a great job getting cooperation with showers and hair care. I think that sometimes those in a regular AL just aren't trained to do that.

If she can afford it, I might just pay extra for her to have it done in the salon sink. Her comfort and peace of mind is worth the extra money, imo.

You can also check out Dry Spray Shampoo to help freshen her hair. I use it as a root boost. They've come a long way and are much better now. Pantene has a great one.

Eventually, as she progresses, she may change her acceptance of getting shampooed in the shower. I'd wait on that. And if she complains that her hair looks bad, just tell her that it looks great.
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Mom's NH lists charges as $12 for a shampoo and set, $14 if you add a cut and only $5 for a wash and blow dry (which most weeks may be all that is needed).
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It seems that she simply prefers to have her hair washed in the sink instead of the shower. You can tell her that a special beautician is coming to wash her hair from the salon and the staff can wash her hair in the bathroom sink.
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Take her to the salon.
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I live at home with my mother and we solved this by making it an "outing" so that she could go to the salon once a week and have her hair styled. Her sisters were always going to their hair dressers and this made it special. It was effortless on her part and she gets to "gossip" with the hairdresser. If the facility doesn't have a salon, possibly you can find a hairdresser that does facility visits.
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Granjan, the salon charges $14 for shampoo & set. The beautician is only there one day a week so it has been difficult to catch her. My sister and I typically do pay for mom's salon visits which happen regularly every 6 weeks and are set up 6 months in advance. These outings are an enjoyable day out with "the girls" including lunch and ice cream on the way home. So kindly refrain from making it sound like I am denying my mother the pampering she deserves. Mom's finances are watched closely to the penny in order to afford the wonderful assisted living home she lives in. She has dementia and is blissfully ignorant of all the work it takes for my sister and me to keep her content, safe and well cared for. My own health is bad. I have diabetes, spinal stenosis, 3 herniated lumbar discs and therefore am not able to wash mom's hair for her.
Today I ordered the face shield that was suggested earlier by a helpful person here. We will try that.
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There is no registration fee to get compassionate answers. I think we all try to be helpful almost all of the time. We are human, we are caregivers, we often are stressed. All answers are not going to be wonderful. And sometimes tone gets lost when it is just written.

You said, "Why would I pay extra for salon washing when she could have them help her in her own shower?" This sounds like a logic issue, not necessarily an economy issue. It is not logical to pay for something you can get free.

And the majority of answers said, in effect, don't worry that it isn't logical. Just do it.

If in the original post you had said instead, "She goes to the in-house salon every six weeks, but that is all she can afford," I think you would have gotten a whole different set of answers. Mine would have been different, I know that.

I hope the visor thing helps a lot. That was a good, practical answer.

Keep posting here. Give us another chance.
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I realize your mom is at a facility, but this might be an idea you could use.
I caregive both my folks at home, and for many reasons they both are unable to wash their hair. (Rarely my mom will do hers in a sink but physical limitations are making it quite difficult.) Last month I purchased an inflatable shampoo basin, so now once a week before I get them out of their beds in the morning, I set up the basin in each bed (and drain bucket beside each bed), and as they lay there, they get a "real" hair cleaning with warm "running" (from a pitcher) water. I make it like a little spa time.
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