My husband and I own our own business so when my mother in law needed full time care his family volunteered me to do it, no one asked they told me. I have been doing this for 8 years. I am angry that they all have their old lives but me. I wanted to go back to school and I can't do anything I want to. This is ruining my marriage.
Have you talked with MIL to see who she would like to help with her care if something changes or you go back to school? Have you come out and asked other sibs to help out?
My advice is to schedule a family meeting via phone skype or email and clearly state your position with a deadline. For example:
"Bill and I have lovingly cared for mom the last 8 yrs but we would like others to step forward as it's time to pass the baton". We love mom, but im going to be going back to school, travel, etc and we no longer will be able to be full time caregiver."
"We see a couple of options for mom; someone else has mom move in with them, mom moves into care facility, or all sibs equally contribute to full time caregiver hire...we anticipate cost of inhome caregiver to be $20/hr for 40 hrs a week... And we like each family to contribute $400/mo." Or if you can do so, and there are some who can't afford this or don't want to...then suggest a lawyer draw up legal doc to deduct the care expenses from that siblings estate portion when mom passes to be fair to everyone else or to you and your husband.
Set a time limit for 4-6 months for family to make arrangements then stick to it.
These are difficult conversations, but need to be had so you aren't resentful and everyone shares in the caregiving either with their time or pocketbooks.
Good luck. To others, I encourage all to have these conversations early before you are in a full time caregiving position or even when you want to care for mom and dad, to make sure other family members are in the loop and can provide some support and compensation as caregiving needs escalate.